Today’s parasha focuses on Moses review of laws from previous books in the Torah as well as the Judicial leadership that will be required before entering Israel.  Within the parsha is this statement:

“תָּמִ֣ים תִּֽהְיֶ֔ה עִ֖ם יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶֽיךָ:  – “Be wholehearted with the Lord, your God.”

Look – we are known as the ‘Chosen People’ – not the ‘Perfect People’.  As in years gone by and always as a daily reminder it’s important to acknowledge our imperfections.

Steve Martin famously said about imperfection: “Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.”

Truly perfect, Seth Godin says,  is becoming friendly with your imperfections on the way to doing something remarkable.
In his 2016 Shoftim D’var Rabbi David Wolpe states that the  way we treat other people and the way we think about  God are different. God knows what’s going on inside us. What one decides about treating other people and what one decides about loving God are different.  Rabbi argues that one can keep secrets from others though one cannot keep secrets from God.

In other words there is a dichotomy between a relationship with ourselves and others and how we relate to or believe in God.

It is said that we may be able to fool others with pretentious behaviors and speech which lacks sincerity, humility and authenticity though our speech and behavior are no secret to God. With the high holidays just around the corner it is more important than ever to understand the meaning of a wholehearted relationship with God and ourselves.

Rabbi Wolpe believes that wholehearted is represented by and gives us a sense of completeness.  When one is Wholehearted there is also sincerity and humility particularly in the way we treat others and the mitzvot we demonstrate everyday such as a simple thank you.

Wolpe also believes that Judaism cares less about how you feel and more about your actions. People have to be treated with respect.  How we act and feel reflects  upon ourselves and others. Often, actions of the heart are easier to follow and accept in ourselves and others.

In order to achieve a wholehearted relationship with God one needs to know who they are and how they act towards others.

This is the time of year when we must be honest with ourselves and about ourselves regarding transgressions from the past year. It is also a time of the year for sincere and wholehearted reflection to figure out how we can improve beyond the high holidays.

Wholeheartedness begins within ourselves once we recognize that we want change and what we want to change about ourselves. Wholeheartedness can be our purpose, cause or beliefs.

According to her research, Brene Brown provides 10 ideas for living a wholehearted life which also allows for self-love -a key ingredient in personal growth and authenticity.  These ideas can be applied anytime before, during or after the high holidays to help us better understand ourselves and get closer to God:

1. Develop authenticity by letting go of what people think
2. To achieve self-compassion eliminate perfectionism
3. Create a resilient spirit by stopping numbing (the things that are painful to us which we avoid by excessive eating, binge TV watching, shopping, spending or substance use)
4. Live a life of gratitude by giving up the idea of scarcity or fear of darkness
5. By applying intuition and personal faith one can give up uncertainty
6. Get creative by giving up comparison (it’s never fair to compare)
7. Play and rest often-exhaustion and productivity are not symbols of self-worth
8. Figure out what the value of calm and stillness are in relation to your life by getting rid of anxiety as a lifestyle.
9. Meaningful work is different than work that contains self-doubt and is full of ‘supposed to’s’
10. Bring laughter, song and dance into your life by letting go of being cool and always being in control

If there is no self-love—no recognition of the beautiful and holy spark or Shekinah within—it is difficult to truly love one’s self or give to another or connect with God.

This holiday season and beyond – let’s live our lives by first taking care of ourselves, our health and our spiritual well being so we can care for those closest to us who may not have the capacity to do so. Let us do this so we can develop a meaningful and wholehearted relationship with God.

In the podcast “Hidden Brain,” psychologist Azim Sharif discussed how religion started, thousands of years ago, as a means of social cohesion. The early pagan religions relied on the threat of supernatural punishment as a means of inducing behavior that kept groups together.  As social groups enlarged from maybe one or two dozen people to groups of hundreds, then thousands, an individual needed to have means of trusting other individuals, since not everyone knew every other person in the social groups. Indeed, supernatural punishment and reward is still one of the main inducements that caused – and keeps – some religions to become so large. In this regard, Judaism is an example of just this promise/threat scenario.

Today’s parashah lays out for us in stark terms how we are supposed to observe Gd’s commandments. “See, this day I set before you a blessing and a curse: a blessing if you listen to the commandments of the Lord your Gd, which I enjoin upon you this day. And curse, if you do not listen to the commandments of the Lord your Gd but turn away from the path that I enjoin you.” We read about how we are to deal with those who worship “false Gds.” We are to put them to death! And we are to destroy all other houses of worship besides our own.

There are a couple of really disagreeable segments in this and other parashiot such as instructions to the Israelites to kill those they plunder in their quest to conquer and inhabit the Promised Land. These portions and the curses that result from noncompliance are sometimes pointed to by nonjews when they depict our Bible as being filled with punishment and violence.

Well, I personally don’t believe that tangible punishment awaits us if we sin. Nor do I believe that we will be rewarded in any tangible way for performing good deeds. I don’t need to be addressed as a toddler. I – we – each must find our own way in which the commandments speak to us, informed by our people’s story and teachings. I have also spoken before about ritual and its importance.

So you have here a committed Jew who is at least somewhat observant, but who doesn’t believe in Divine reward and punishment. How do I reconcile that? I would be happy to reiterate my personal theology with you, but having done that from the bimah already, I want to focus on a different aspect of today’s parashah.

I’m only mentioning this fire and brimstone portion of the parashah to contrast it with what I consider the more positive portions, gratitude and rejoicing.

I recently finished a book by Jonathan Ruach (Ruach – he must have been Jewish, right?) called, “The Happiness Curve.” The book describes how one’s self-measure of happiness is relatively high in early adulthood, sags appreciably before reaching its trough, usually in a person’s mid-40s to early 50s, and then climbs again. This is found irrespective of the country studied and the gender analyzed, and is independent of socioeconomic status. It’s really an amazingly consistent finding, and the author does a great job giving numerous reasons why this may be so.

The trough in the happiness quotient follows the dashed dreams of our youth and is exacerbated by financial realities, the realization of the limits of what we will be able to achieve in our lives, the feeling of, “Is this all there is,” our inevitably growing list of infirmities, finding ourselves in a “sandwich generation,” new burdens – imperfect kids, spouse, etc, etc.

The good news is that this changes, and an upswing in one’s “happiness score” occurs in the form of a relatively comfortable acceptance that life is messy and imperfect. So how can Judaism help? In fact, Judaism just might have at least a partial answer, helping us raise the depth of the trough and shortening its time frame.

I believe that, in addition to following certain rituals, odd though it may seem, one of the ways we honor Gd is to feel joy – to rejoice. The word for this in Hebrew is simcha, or some derivative of it. The word is found more in today’s parashah than in all the other books of the Torah combined! As you all know, Judaism teaches us to count our blessings. We are taught to say 100 blessings a day. We even have a blessing upon seeing a rainbow. Indeed, our Shabbat service starts out with a list of items for which we should be grateful.

In the book, Ruach points out how a sense of gratitude helps lift us out of the happiness trough. Here is where our parashah comes in. Today’s parashah conveys the importance of rejoicing – of being grateful for the blessings which were bestowed upon us.

When my daughter Leah was small and would sometimes complain about one or another friend, I used to tell her that if all you see are warts, then the whole world is ugly. In a similar way, although life is filled with pain, we are commanded in today’s parashah to rejoice as well. Indeed, the talmud relates that one of the questions we will be asked by a heavenly court when we die will be whether we enjoyed all the gifts that were ethically ours for the taking. Being grateful is a way of thanking Gd. True joy though, reaches beyond the boundaries of ourselves and touches the lives of others. Maybe that’s why our parashah includes rules of giving to others, and in that way, cultivating a sense of community.

So why bother to cultivate such an attitude? Expressing gratitude may make others feel good, but what about us? Aside from following the commandments of the Torah, is there any tangible value? Well, as it turns out, the answer is yes.

In his book, The Science of Gratitude, Robert Emmons discusses a study of nuns in the United States, whose writings, attitudes and subsequent health records were followed for over 60 years. The nuns kept personal journals, and the results were startling. The more positive emotions that the nuns expressed when they were young – the more gratitude, hope and love that was in their writings – the more likely they were to be alive and healthy . . . 60 years later!

A multitude of studies since the nun study has linked wide-ranging health benefits to thankfulness – benefits that are physical, psychological and interpersonal. It’s not difficult to see that people who frequently show gratitude and thank others tend to have closer social bonds.

Numerous sociology studies have consistently pointed out that a sense of awe and gratitude does wonderful things for us, including a heightened sense of altruism and a resultant concern for others.

In this as in so many other ways, the Bible has shown its wisdom. Gratitude is good for others, but it is also good for those who are grateful. A sense of awe and gratitude not only makes for better Jews, it makes for healthier and happier Jews!

In Judaism, it’s a great mitzvah to find joy.

This D’var is dedicated to the memory of my father and to everyone who has lost someone of significance.

Vaeschanan. What a noteworthy Parsha filled with a plethora of major topics.  It readily lends itself to a D’var Torah. Moses, nearing death, gathers the B’nai Yisroel for his final speech. He does this while standing on the banks of the Jordan River, looking longingly into the Promised Land. He imprints the Ten Commandments on the minds of all those in attendance. He recites the Shema and reminds the Israelites that G-d is one and that they must serve Him and love Him with all their heart and all their might. He points out that G-d also loves them, his chosen people. Why then have I decided to give my D’var today on the Haftorah rather than the Parsha? Isn’t that like attending a Smorgasbord, but only choosing a salad for lunch?

“Nachamu, nachamu ami”. Comfort, comfort my people. G-d commands the Prophet Isaiah to speak to the suffering people of Jerusalem and assure them that their suffering will soon be coming to an end. Haftorah Nachamu is the first of seven Haftorahs dealing with the issue of consolation. It’s always read immediately after Tisha B’Av. The last of the consolation Haftorahs is read on the Shabbos preceding Rosh Hashanah. I remember the excitement I felt chanting Haftorah Nachamu on my Bar Mitzvah. How wonderful, I thought, that my father’s name had the same root word as the Haftorah.  How fitting, I felt, that I should be able to perhaps provide my father Nacham with some comfort for the loss of his entire family at the hands of Hitler during World War II.  This Haftorah of consolation was a perfect opportunity to provide my father with some comfort through my efforts. Little did I realize at the time that the notions expressed in the Haftorah would later have a significant impact on me.

Before I explain please allow me to side step for a moment and explore with you something that recently crossed my mind. Why is Parshat Vaeschanan paired with Haftorah Nachamu?  The traditional viewpoint is that there really is no particular reason why the two are read on the same Shabbos. It seems to me, however, that a closer symbiotic relationship never existed. Vaeschanan clearly encompasses a belief in G-d. Nachamu requires people to have faith in G-d that things will improve. Is not belief in G-d and faith in Him the path that leads to comfort?

In 2000, my beloved father passed away. Therefore, this year is the “Chai Year” (18^th year) of his afterlife. While grieving during Shiva, I recall thinking about some of the most meaningful times I spent with my father. My Bar Mitzvah was one such time. I remembered my father advising me to swallow a raw egg before going to shul. This, he explained would make my voice stronger and clearer. Huh? Okay.  What a confidence builder for a thirteen- year- old whose voice took a detour just weeks before as it bounced up and down at will and without permission. At the very least, what a great placebo. I will now return to my grief during Shiva. I was lost. I mean, really lost. My mother had died ten years earlier so I was officially an orphan. To comfort myself, I wrote a letter to myself which I will now share with you.

MY LETTER

It was a Sunday in January. As usual, I phoned my father to talk to him about his health, the terrible food served at the assisted living facility, and anything else that may occasionally come up. This time, however, was different. A strange female voice answered the phone. My father, I was told, had fallen and been taken to the hospital. I phoned my sister, Jo, who also lived in Charlotte to find out what was going on. We soon learned that my father had suffered both a serious heart attack and stroke and that he was deemed comatose. The next morning, I was on a plane to Charlotte.

My father had earlier suffered a damaging heart attack and debilitating stroke. But my father was a survivor. After all, he made it through World War II. My father came to America in 1937 to live with some relatives. He had already served in the Polish cavalry as a young man. Although born in Russia, he attended German schools as a youngster after the Germans ousted the Russians. When the Germans lost World War I, the Poles took over. The Poles were drafting again in response to a general unrest in Europe. By 1940, my father, who could barely speak English and was not yet a U.S. citizen, was a U.S. soldier. My father survived the War. His family did not.

Although my father was almost 90, he still “looked good”. Why, 25% of his hair was still black. His skin remained relatively smooth and had a nice olive hue to it. Although my father’s cardiologist had opined that it was only a matter of time before “the end”, the end was approaching too quickly. My family and I, thank G-d, had visited my father only a month earlier. We could chat with him, joke with him, and show him our love. I remember saying goodbye to my dad and thinking that this would be our last goodbye. Now, a month later, I found myself before my father and our Maker having to deal with matters vastly beyond my comprehension.

Throughout the week my sister, her husband and I visited my father and stayed by him, although he could not communicate and usually seemed to be sleeping. Occasionally, my father would half-open an eye and seem to look in the direction of our voices. Sometimes a finger would move. I was convinced that this was his way of communicating. Without question he, at least, sensed our presence.

On Friday night and Saturday, I could not visit my father. It was Shabbat, but not very restful. When Shabbat ended, we went to the hospital. My father’s breathing seemed strained. Unlike other visits, my father actually grasped our hands throughout the evening. Suddenly, my father’s eyes opened wide and he began to stare at something. He had the appearance of a young child looking in amazement at some wondrous thing while declaring “WOW!” His eyes then closed. He appeared calm. He took a gentle breath, then another one, then another, then a whisper, then silence.

It was the seventh day since the fall. Shabbat was over. My father was not alone. He could now rest. Shavuah Tov Dad.

__________________________________________

Belief in G-d.

Faith.

Comfort.                                        Good Shabbos.

The purpose of this D’var will be to discuss some of the more intriguing aspects of Matot and Masei. Both Parshas are not only interesting, but also extremely informative regarding the Torah way of handling some very sensitive issues. I will point out their significance to the present day. Additionally, I will try to dispel some common misconceptions.

In Matot , the  division of land among the twelve tribes is undertaken. The tribes of Reuven and Gad had achieved great wealth before entering Israel by raising cattle. The land east of the Jordan River was ideal for cattle. This territory had been acquired by defeating the Amorites (King Sichon) and the Kingdom of Bashan (King Og). Moses wanted the combined armies of the twelve tribes to proceed to war against the Midianites. Reuven and Gad, however, stated that they preferred to remain behind and continue raising cattle. They noted that they had no interest in acquiring additional land.  They were fully satisfied with the land they currently occupied. Moses severely rebuked them. How could they idly stay back while the other tribes went to war? A compromise was finally reached. The armies of Reuven and Gad would join the armies of the other ten tribes to proceed to war against Midian. Their families, however, would remain behind in fortified cities and continue to possess the land outside of Israel. After defeat of the Midianites, a final distribution of land would be made among the twelve tribes which would constitute their inheritance of land from G-d. Reuven and Gad would retain their current holdings.

MISCONCEPTION #1

The twelve tribes are the direct descendants of the twelve sons of Jacob. Although this is partially correct, it is technically inaccurate.  There are no tribes of Joseph and Levi. The other ten tribes are, indeed, directly descended from the sons of Jacob. Rather than being a tribe of Joseph, the two half-tribes of Menashe and Ephraim were formed. They were the two sons of Joseph. Although called half tribes, they were full tribes in all regards. Levites assisted the Kohanim. They inherited no land. Instead each of the twelve tribes were required to set aside living places for the Levites and support them. The Kohanim, please note, were the descendants of the first High Priest, Aaron. A total of forty-eight cities were established where the Levites would live and perform their duties. Three tribes: Reuven, Gad and the half-tribe of Menashe, inherited land east of the Jordan River. The remaining nine tribes: Judah, Shimon, Issachar, Zebulun, Benjamin, Dan, Asher, Naftali and the half-tribe of Ephraim, inherited land in Israel west of the Jordan River.

In Masei, major topics include murder, cities of refuge and inheritance rights of women. The Torah approach of criminal justice has become the framework for the American system of law. Murder, please note, is different than killing. One, for example, who kills an enemy while serving in the military is generally not considered a murderer. Murder was Biblically punishable by death. If a person was adjudicated to be innocent, no action would be taken. If negligence on the part of the perpetrator led to death of another, the killer would be allowed to flee to a city of refuge. If killing was the result of gross negligence, i.e., severe carelessness, punishments other than the death penalty would be utilized and cities of refuge would not be an option. An example of this would be accidentally killing someone during the commission of a crime. Unlike the American Judicial approach, there was no Felony Murder Doctrine, i.e., one is deemed guilty of murder if an accidental killing occurs during the commission of a felony. To be found Biblically guilty of murder, there had to be intent. The element of mens rea (evil mind) is required in the U.S. The Torah required that two reliable witnesses had to corroborate that the murder did take place. False witness testimony could lead to the witness getting the penalty that would have been imposed on the accused. Stronger measures were taken, therefore, under Torah law than under American Law to protect the innocent or accidental killer. Circumstantial evidence was not allowed. As today, exceptions were carved out for the mentally ill and others.

MISCONCEPTION #2

The controversial Sanctuary City concept of today is a direct offshoot of the Biblical Cities of Refuge. Cities of Refuge were created primarily for one purpose. They afforded a safe haven for negligent killers who otherwise could face death by the hands of the family of the deceased. These killers, at the very least, lacked the required intent to be deemed murderers. Yet, they had killed due to their own negligence. The cities of refuge, therefore, served as places of atonement.  Three cities of refuge were set up on each side of the Jordan River. On the west side were the cities of Kedesh, Shechem and Hebron. On the east were the cities of Golan, Ramoth and Bosor. The fleeing killers had to make their way to a city of refuge and remain there until the High Priest of the city died. The death of the High Priest was deemed a repentance for the sins of the killers. They were then free to leave. Anyone who harmed them could be subject to punishment up to and including death.

MISCONCEPTION #3

Some people criticize Torah Law as being overly harsh. The verse “an eye for an eye” is often cited as proof for this conclusion. The death penalty prescribed for murder in Masei is also cited as proof that the Torah presented a blood thirsty system of justice. Although the eye for eye notion does not appear in today’s Parshaot, when coupled with the death penalty it does superficially suggest an extremely harsh Biblical approach. You poke out my eye. Then I get to poke out your eye? Not really. The eye for eye approach was a precursor to the American concept of damages. If one pokes out the eye of another, then compensation must be paid for the loss of the eye and the impact it will have on the victim. The death penalty was prescribed only for intentional murder corroborated by two witnesses. It was a rarely used punishment. Intent was difficult to prove. How often do you have a murder witnessed by two people? Whether true or not, the Talmud refers to one Sanhedrin which carried out the death penalty once in seven years as “The Bloody Sanhedrin”. Torah Law may be firm. Certainly, it is not harsh.

A last subject is certainly worthy of mention. Up to the time of the Exodus, only men could inherit. Along came the interesting case of the daughters of Tzelafchad discussed in Parsha Masei. Tzelafchad died sonless. He did, however, have five daughters. Who inherits? As it turns out, this was a very prominent family. Tzelafchad was the son of Menashe. Menashe was the son of Joseph. In other words, the daughters were the granddaughters of Menashe and the great granddaughters of Joseph. The daughters’ names, in case you are ever involved in a game of Bible Trivia, were Mahlah, Noa, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah. They argued that since there were no sons to inherit, it was their right to inherit. This would be the only way their family could retain its legally acquired property interests. The Tribe of Menashe argued, with the other Tribes agreeing, that by giving the land to the daughters the Tribe of Menashe was effectively being robbed of its G-d given land should any of the daughters marry into different tribes. The matter was resolved by allowing the daughters to inherit with the proviso that if any daughter married outside the Tribe of Menashe, the land would revert back to the Tribe. None of the daughters married outside Menashe. This became a landmark decision in Jewish Law. The process of equal rights for women not only in the religious sector, but also in all other sectors of life continues.

In today’s parsha, sandwiched between Pinchas getting rewarded for killing the Simeonite Prince and the Midianite Princess and Moses empowering Joshua to succeed him and lead the people to the land of Israel, is a brief section which is easy to overlook. It deals with how Moses is instructed to divide the Promised Land amongst the tribes. It was assumed that only males could inherit land because the clan was perpetuated through the male line.  Here we meet the five daughters of Zelophehad. This is historically very significant.  While some of the men were calling for mutiny, abandoning Israel and preparing to turn back to Egypt, the daughters of Zelophehad had their own ideas.  They challenged the tradition and asked for their own portion of land.

The story of Zelophehad’s five daughters encapsulates the challenges that women faced and what they had to do in order to affirm their rights with dignity. We might expect that women who were put under a law that frequently favored men, might react by keeping silent, by accepting as natural the rule decreed for them to follow. We might expect women in those days to stay close to their tents, remain out of sight, and not go far from their families. So how and why did Zelophehad’s daughters write a new chapter in history?

They stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the chieftains, and the whole assembly at the entrance of the tent of meeting. Imposing as this may have been, the five sisters decided to claim their rights. Together, they go out of their tents, without being called by anyone, to the place where only high-ranking men congregate, to the place where the tablets from Sinai rest in the ark, to a place of holiness, to a place where women did not have authority. The men must have been overwhelmed when they saw this surprising situation. But this is not all the five sisters do. They not only come forward, but they speak with determination about how their father died in the wilderness and that he left no son. They said:” let not our father’s name be lost to his clan just because he had no son. Give us a holding among our father’s kinsmen.”

Let us analyze what this text reflects about these women. First, note that these women know their law and history. They know that the continuity of family name depends on inheritance of the land; and they realize that the current law is not adequate, for it does not take into account the unusual circumstances of a man without sons. They possess the acumen to recognize this omission in God’s law. They show no hesitation in pointing out the unfair nature of the present situation with complete confidence and supporting their claim with compelling arguments. How does Moses react? Moses discloses his inability to assess the claims of the sisters. He takes the case to God, who responds by quickly supporting the sisters’ demand by creating a new and permanent law to secure inheritance for any daughters in such circumstances.

A author named Eturuvie Erebor(AKA Gabriella) wrote in an essay stating that in confronting Moses on this issue, the daughters set a new precedent. These women were empowered women, these women were leaders. Leadership lessons that can be learned from the lives of these great women are as follows: great women are liberators; they do not sit around waiting for others to liberate them of the challenges life throws at them.  Rather, they confront the challenges that face them and liberate not only themselves but others with them. Great women challenge the status quo, they never accept it. Great women are not afraid to go where no one has gone before. Great women are pathfinders and trailblazers. Great women fight for a cause bigger than themselves. For these women, it wasn’t about an inheritance, it was more than that. It was about ensuring that their father’s name did not die. They spoke for their father when he was not there to speak for himself. Great women are change agents. These women brought change not only for themselves but for women that would be born many generations later. No more would a woman be unable to inherit her father’s possession. No more would a man’s name die off because he had no sons. Great women are bold. These women were bold; they stood before Moses and the entire congregation and stated their case without fear and trembling. They asked a question which had never been asked by a woman:” why should his name be lost because he has son?” Then they boldly declared what they wanted.  The daughters of Zelophehad did not back down when encountering resistance. Moses said” no” at least three times before he conceded the logic of their position. Moses is a greatest profit who ever lived, and yet the daughters of Zelophehad saw something he did not see. Notice that these women did not say to Moses,” will you give us? Is it possible?” No, they place a demand on Moses. They said” give us.” And Moses and God gave.  Great women are inspiration to other women. Yes, their story sends this short but powerful message to all women,” you can too, because you’re a woman.”

The Bible seems to define society as being composed of men only. On at least three occasions, a census of only men with taken. The women and children were never counted. In ritual areas, men predominated. Women, however, did take part in organized religious life.

From the time of our patriarchs onward, and throughout Jewish history, there have been selected individual women who displayed spiritual qualities that their husbands, who were themselves great men and leaders of Israel, could not attain.

In the generation of the Israelites wandering in the desert, the women repaired what the men broke down.

The Torah tells us of entire groups of women who rose above the fray and refrained from participating in the two major sins which befell the Jewish men during the journey in the desert. During the episode of the golden calf, the midrash tells us that women absolutely refused to give their jewelry. During the sin of the spies, it was only the men who despaired, not the women. And, in our parshah, when the men had been unwilling to enter the land, the daughters of Zelophehad petition to receive an inheritance. These women saw beyond the surface, to the reality of divine assistance, and the vision of a future where God’s grand plan would be carried through.

When it comes to the women’s lack of participation in these major mistakes of Jewish history, however, something is missing in the Midrashic and textual references. No direct credit is given to these women for their insight and patience. Only through roundabout textual review can we even realize that they were not among the sinners.

The Jewish women, as a whole, were credited for continuing to bring children into the world during the harsh Egyptian slavery.  So why not likewise credit all the Jewish women for standing firm and avoiding the two well-known sins of the calf and the spies

Women have held positions of respect in Judaism since biblical times. The matriarchs, as well as other female characters in the Bible, exhibited independence of thought and action, and critically influenced the course of history, although differently from men.

Scores of women who appear throughout the Bible show that women, despite socio-legal limitations, could act resolutely to shape the future according to their vision.

According to traditional Judaism, women are endowed with a greater degree of “binah” (intuition, understanding, intelligence) than men. It has been said that the matriarchs (Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah) were superior to the patriarchs in prophecy.  Miriam is considered one of the liberators of the people of Israel, along with her brothers Moses and Aaron. One of the judges, Deborah, was a woman. Seven of the 55 profits of the Bible were women.

In this lies the truth power of Jewish women: first, to possess the innate feminine qualities of insight, long-term vision, and seeing beyond the surface to a deeper reality. And second, to have the wisdom and courage to act upon it. In this way, each and every Jewish woman, in large and small ways, can truly change Jewish destiny.

The achievement of Zelophehad’s daughters was a landmark in women’s rights regarding the inheritance of land, from those days up to now. In addition, however, the story of these five women offers a compelling lesson for all those who believe their destiny is fixed or that divine justice has abandoned them. It encourages us to think differently.  It provides a message of hope for all those faced with obstacles.

After all, nothing is more sacred than life, itself, in the fight for what we believe is worthy. Thus, this parshah inspires us to discover that we, too, have the ability to know what is right for ourselves and the power to challenge the status quo.

Before I dive into the story of Balak and share some reflections, I feel the need to provide full disclosure about this parsha. Balak has become a Steiner family tradition. Ron read Balak at his Bar Mitzvah in Israel and so did his brother, David. Rachel read Balak at her Bat Mitzvah in Israel and so did Lilly. So, I have some familial material to draw upon and you’ll hear some of their lessons in this dvar.

In parshat Balak, we read that Balak, King of Moab, fears that he cannot defeat the Israelites. So instead, Balak hires the prophet Balaam to curse the Jews. God spoke to Balaam to explain that, basically, this assignment is a waste of time.

God said to Balaam, “You shall not go with them! You shall not curse the people because they are blessed.”

Balak and the elders of Moab would not take no for an answer and so, Balaam and his donkey set out on the journey.  God sends a sword-carrying angel to block his path. The donkey sees the angel and she turns away from the road and into a field. In response, Balaam beats the donkey to return to the road. The angel blocks the way. Two more times the donkey tries to move forward and stops abruptly when the angel blocks the path; Balaam beats the donkey each time. After the third beating, the donkey speaks! She asks Balaam “what have I done that you beat me three times?” Balaam says to the donkey that she has humiliated him. Only then does God open Balaam’s eyes and he sees the angel blocking the path. He falls to his knees and states that he will not continue the journey to curse the Jews. God tells Balaam he should continue; but, he must speak whatever words God puts into his mouth. And we know that when Balaam opened his mouth to curse the Jews, only blessings came forth. And now several thousands of years later, every morning service begins with:

“Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov, mishk’notecha Yisrael”

“How good are your tents, O Jacob, your dwellings, O Israel!”

Cantor Ellen Dreskin writes in the book “Text Messages” that ‘… these simple words emphasize the blessing of each individual’s role in our community, the blessing that is contained in every aspect of our own personalities, and our obligation to attempt to speak blessings and be blessings at every moment of our lives.”

In her Bat Mitzvah speech, Lilly didn’t focus on the blessings part so much. Lilly gave the following two lessons:

• “If you see wrong-doing you should try to stop it. Sometimes you speak up in defense and other times, you speak up for the purpose of educating the person who is doing wrong. For example, even when I was little, I realized the importance of speaking up when I told my teacher, Ms. Starry, that one of my classmates wasn’t sharing his toy truck. It is important that I spoke up because his lack of sharing was hurting someone else.”
• “Another lesson is that your friends and family look out for you and steer you away from bad decisions. For example, in preparation for high school, Rachel and her friend, Christine, warned me which hallways I should avoid when passing between classes so that I would get to class on time and so that I would stay out of trouble.”

That God gave the donkey the ability to see the angel and further to speak out loud is akin to recognizing a wrong-doing and speaking out against it. It is our duty to speak for ourselves, our family, friends and community whenever there is something wrong in how we are being treated or how we are treating each other. You might think of the donkey in today’s terms as an ‘upstander’; we need people like that – who look out for each other and who stand-up against injustices.

It is wrong to blindly follow our own desires or attend only to our own needs. Balaam said that the donkey humiliated him – he was concerned with how the donkey’s lack of obedience reflected on himself! Instead, we (and Balaam) need to look outside ourselves and take care of each other.

It is especially relevant in today’s climate – we need to move beyond our own personal needs, our own personal comforts and privileges. Can you empathize with those who are escaping persecution in their own lands and seek refuge at our borders? Can you offer time or money or food to those who live without adequate means to care for themselves and their families? Can you empathize with those who feel targeted, threatened, or insecure about police officer behaviors?

Can you recognize that you are an example of privilege? I can… and it was a handful of years ago when I first really saw that privilege in action… Fourth of July at our house with the Sullums and we decided to shoot some fireworks in the baseball field across from our house. We weren’t the only people setting off fireworks in that field. That’s within city limits. It’s against the law to use fireworks within city limits. And when the police came by… they barely spoke to us… they barely spoke to the white folks. There was a more lengthy conversation with our Hispanic neighbors.

We should take that ‘privilege’ and use it to help others.

At Lilly’s Bat Mitzvah, Ron added his spin on Balak. Ron’s lesson is to look at the shape Hebrew text of this parsha. Amazingly it is a single block of text – there are no “paragraph’ or chapter breaks.

Ron thinks this represents our family unit – that we stick together. It symbolizes the strength of our family. Perhaps it is representative of the Jewish community, standing together as a whole?

Maybe speaking blessings, acting as a blessing, caring for others and speaking out against injustices… these behaviors are the building blocks of our community.

And what of these hidden things that I mentioned in the title?

Some hidden things are things we need to be protected from:

• The angel was hidden from Balaam and the donkey tried to protect him.
• Parents protect their children from all kinds of “hidden” dangers – parents use their experience to guide their kids toward being safe and toward making good decisions.
• Natural gas – you can’t see the vapors and unless the gas company adds a pungent odor we wouldn’t be able to smell that gas either. So, the gas company protects us.
• All kinds of illnesses fall into this category as well.
  • Cancer, MS, Diabetes, fibromyalgia: just a few examples of illnesses that you can’t see from the outside and if remain unknown to the patient… well, that’s kind of obvious what happens to the patient. But when your family or your community is unaware of your physical pain or limitations, they may push you toward joining in on activities that don’t match your current abilities, or they may inadvertently say something hurtful.
  • Mental illness, including depression: if not identified and acknowledged can lead to misunderstanding of the source of a person’s behavior and to incorrectly placing blame and that can further lead to ostracizing or isolation of that person.

And then there are those things which are hidden, and probably should remain hidden…  because they are personal. In a dvar torah from 2002, Rabbi Dovid Green wrote:

“In counter distinction to modern western culture where all dirty laundry is washed in public, the Torah attitude is that not everything is for the public eye. Some things are meant to remain known only within the community, or the family, or between husband and wife. When everything intimate is public knowledge, it violates the goodness of the tents of Yaakov.”
https://torah.org/torah-portion/dvartorah-5760-balak/

I’ll leave you with one more thought… sometimes there are things within each of us which are themselves hidden but which define us, and shape our lives, and guide our behavior:

• Commitment
• Caring and Kindness
• Love
• Patience

In the documentary about Fred Rogers (currently available in theaters), you’ll hear a quote along these lines. I think I found the original source from the book “The Little Prince”:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

Shabbat Shalom

Last Shabbat, I was having lunch with the Steiners right here. When I told Melsissa the title of my d’var for this week, “Roffman Goes Rogue,” she said, “Ha! Again?,” and Ron said, “Why am I not surprised?” Well, sometimes I do come at this from an unconventional direction. Many years of reading about decision-making, social psychology and medicine has served me very well in my profession, where old assumptions and dogma can lead us astray. When studying Torah, taking a fresh look can give new insights, and the wondrous way that torah is a guide for life never ceases to amaze me. So with that in mind . . .

This is a parashah about death. The story of the red heffer gives detailed purification instructions after one comes in direct contact with a dead person. Also in the parashah, Miriam dies, Moses and Aaron are condemned to death. Aaron dies. And then in the haftorah, we would have another death – this time a very senseless one – but it is omitted because of an error by our sages – we’ll get to that in a couple of minutes.

In the parashah, the feature that gets the most attention is when Moses strikes a rock, bringing forth water for his stiff-necked rebels, and Gd tells him that because of what he had done, he will soon die. As you can imagine, scholars have had a field day with this. What did Moses do to deserve such a harsh judgment? He struck the rock instead of speaking to it? Come on, Gd, don’t be so thin-skinned! Anyway, we’ll get back to that. Well, each of these four examples carries its own message, and together they add up to become what is a very important and powerful parashah.

The first death in the parashah is that of Miriam. Such an important figure in the story of our people. Ensuring that Moses will know his origins after he was cast into the river by his mother and saved by an Egyptian princess. Supporting others during their journey in the desert. Five Hebrew words – part of a single verse – was all that was written about her death. Well Miriam’s passing will not be given short shrift here at KC! After we read that Miriam has died, the very next verse tells of the subsequent lack of water for the Israelites. Remember that a midrash tells of a well of water that followed Miriam in the desert. Now, without Miriam, the Israelites missed the nourishment of the body and, perhaps, the nourishment of the soul by Miriam herself.

Rewards for good deeds are often very private affairs, such as when we perform acts of loving kindness for one another. But just as the simple description of Miriam’s death was followed by the lack of water for the entire Israelite nation, a small act of kindness that we perform can have a profound effect. Miriam was beloved by a nation and is now revered by us.

But at the time of her death, little was made of it. It doesn’t lessen her importance, which has become magnified through the years. Just as the Talmud says that one who saves a life, it is like saving an entire universe, Torah teaches that one who performs a single good deed can have a profound effect on an entire life.

The next death is that of Aaron. Torah teaches that he was also a beloved figure because of the way he brought people together. It is told that he would bring two quarreling people together by telling each privately that the other felt terrible about their rift, but was embarrassed to come forward. Of course, they would then reconcile.

He bestowed his vestments upon his son just before his death, and we read that the people mourned for 30 days – this is where our tradition of sheloshim comes – the 30 days of mourning for a close relative. This priest of the temple – maybe the equivalent of Alan! – was regarded as close kin to all the people. And in the case of our shul, maybe this applies to not just Alan, but all of us. After all, in our small kehillah – community – we’re all participants in our shul and are regarded as kin by one another.

Instance number three. In the haftorah, the previously outcast Yiftach is brought back by the Israelites to lead them in battle, to be a powerful general. He makes a Faustian bargain, telling Gd that if his battle is a success, he will offer as a burnt offering “Whatever first comes from my house upon my return from battle,” fully expecting one of his many livestock to be the first “greeter.” Does anyone remember who greets Yiftach when he returns home? Yes – his daughter. But this key element of the story is left out of the haftorah! And in Etz Chaim, the commentary about the haftorah doesn’t even mention this climax to the story. Read the commentary in Etz Chaim about the relationship of the haftorah to the parashah – I think it’s a bit contrived!

The whole parashah is about death: the red heffer sacrifice, the deaths, or at least the sentences of death of 3 great leaders of the Exodus. The haftorah ends with verse 33. In verse 34 in the Book of Judges, we read that it was Yiftach’s daughter who comes out to greet him and is subsequently and tragically put to death. The entire chapter in Judges ends with verse 40. Would it have been so difficult to include this major feature of the entire lesson? Seven more verses! This could have given a meaningful and purposeful juxtaposition between the deaths of beloved people in our history versus a death brought about by selfishness and arrogance. Clearly, this was a mistaken omission by our sages.

Anyway . . . Torah teaches that arrogance comes before the fall. Yiftach was a great warrior, brought back by the Israelites to lead them in battle. Do we remember him kindly? Do we remember him at all, except for one portion of a haftorah? He was so sure of a happy would-be ending and as a result, lost his only child.

Now on to Moshe. What did he do to merit such a harsh judgment? As you know, speculation in our tradition’s writings runs rampant. He struck the rock rather than speaking to it. He lost his temper with the Israelites. And on and on. So what was the real reason? Nothing . . . and everything. Effective leadership requires many traits – bold actions, humility, patience, foresight.

Yes, Moses lost his temper, insulted his people and said that he (not Gd) would provide water for them. Maybe he lost his leadership focus from fatigue (after all, he had been leading the Israelites for decades). Maybe he lost his focus from grief (after all, he just lost his sister, Miriam) and maybe all of this gushed out, just as the water gushed out, with this singular episode.

Anyway, for Moses, it was time. In my view, his death sentence maybe wasn’t a death sentence at all. Maybe Moses wasn’t being punished. Maybe Gd’s words were simply foretelling what was inevitable. It wasn’t that Moses committed some great sin. It was that he was human. And as for all humans, there comes a time. We can and should put off this time as long as we are able. We all carry burdens, just as Moses did. For most, the burdens only increase with age. But for those with wisdom, fortitude and equanimity, when that time does come, they are revered, as Moses was.

And so while we would just as soon forget the arrogance and selfishness of Yiftack we hold dear Miriam’s acts of loving kindness, Aaron’s gift of reconciliation, and Moses’s skills of leadership. The accounts of events in the Torah may not have actually happened, but they are truthful. The Torah has given us three great examples and lessons that even contrarians can aspire to.

There is little love lost for Korach. Sure, there haves always been kvetchers and complainers, people or groups who, for one reason or another were dissatisfied with the established order and were not shy in coming forth and airing their views. We have all experienced them.

But for the first time since the Exodus, opposition to Moses had crystallized around a distinct individual. For the first time, the rebels and plotters had a figurehead behind whom they could coalesce.

Make no mistake, Korach died a horrible death, his followers were exterminated and the rebellion was crushed, leaving scholars and writers for the ensuing three millennia with nothing to do other than join the hit parade and compete in a character assassination of Korach.

Who would be willing to speak up in his defense?

Just Google the name, and in 0.44 of a second you too will agree that it is difficult to find anything positive about the man among the 659,000 references found when I did the search.

Korach was greedy, Korach was jealous. Korach was underhanded, Korach was a megalomaniac. Korach was a rabble-rouser intent on world domination. Wow, talk about a victim of BAD Press;

HE and the President… NO, we won’t go there.

OK – How about Korach the seeker of spiritual enlightenment?

Impossible you say; this was a man who attacked Moses, and by extension challenged G‑d. Who could possibly be willing to speak up in his defense?

The Lubavitcher Rebbe.

In an inspirational essay, the Rebbe suggests that though we may question Korach’s methods and means, there is still much to be admired about his purpose. After all, what did Korach demand – but an opportunity to try out for the position of High Priest?    Was Korach misunderstood?

This may indeed look like an instance of naked ambition, but from a more subtle perspective, couldn’t this just be an example of a man trying to connect with G‑d? Sure, his plan went South when he allowed his reasonable desire for spirituality, to lead him into rebelling against Moses. But, there was nothing wrong with his ambition…

It should be the goal of every Jew to serve G‑d in the finest and most meaningful way possible.

 For me, this theory encapsulates the Rebbe’s unique perspective on humans and humanity. It takes no great brains or courage to join in kicking a man when he is down, And, there does not seem to be a lot of folks out there, actively seeking the opportunity to help people rise again.

From the Rebbe’s viewpoint very, very few people are truly evil or irredeemable. No one is beyond the pale without positive characteristics. The trick is to focus on that which is valuable about a person, building them up in their own eyes, and in the estimation of others, and using that as a platform from which to construct a new world order.

The Rebbe sent his followers out onto the streets to help educate and rescue our lost brothers and sisters not out a sense of duty, or pity, or even compassion, but because he honestly treasured every single Jew and the unique facet of brilliance that every single one of us brings to our national jewel.

The Rebbe’s revolutionary insight on the story of Korach’s insurrection, and the positive spin he put on Korach’s motivations for rebelling, were nothing short of insightful, almost GOD-like.

According to the Rebbe, when Korach challenged Aaron’s right to be appointed High Priest, and demanded his own chance at glory, it was more than a self-serving desire to attack the established order. This was a laudable, though misguided, attempt to connect to G‑d and serve Him in a most spiritually complete way. Korach’s mistake was the method he chose to access G‑dliness, not his aspirations.

If the Rebbe’s premise is correct, and Korach’s original motivation was pure – what else was Korach supposed to do? If a man wants to become the High Priest, and there’s another person currently filling the role, then what choice does he have but to challenge the incumbent for the job?

What indeed was Korach supposed to do? And if his intentions were pure, why did he receive a punishment? The punishment would seem to indicate that it is better to sit back quietly and play whatever role you’ve been assigned, without aspiring for advancement.

In other words, you don’t have to dress like a High Priest or be publically appointed to the role for G‑d to consider you a High Priest. Holiness is a state of mind, not a job description. If you decided right now to dedicate your heart, soul, mind and being to serving G‑d, then your efforts are just as precious in G‑d’s eyes as any woman or man who has ever lived.

Korach could have achieved his goal of accessing spirituality by doing his job to the best of his ability; he didn’t need to challenge Aaron for the title.

Rabbi Elisha Greenbaum suggests that the above leads to a different perspective on the Rebbe’s influence on the world. One of the most often quoted descriptions about the Rebbe was a line that Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks came out with immediately after the Rebbe’s passing: “Many people mistakenly assumed that the Rebbe was interested in creating followers,” observed Rabbi Sacks, “however the Rebbe, as a truly great leader, was more interested in creating leaders.”

It’s thought that the Rebbe wanted each of us to achieve greatness wherever we found ourselves, and by living life to the fullest and bringing spirituality into every moment of the day and into every role we are called upon to fill.

The Rebbe wanted us, individually and collectively, to connect to G‑d. He learned incredible life lessons from every encounter and inspires us to do the same.

Don’t be a leader. Don’t be a follower. Don’t be a Korach or a Moshe. It’s not about the uniform or the title. It’s about being yourself and doing that job to the best of your ability. There can be no higher role than the one you’ve been tapped to play; and, by dedicating yourself to G‑d you’ll be sanctified forever.

I have to thank Rabbi Elisha Greenbaum for much of the inspiration that allowed me to share this D’var Torah with you today. Rabbi Greenbaum leads a Congregation in Victoria Australia.

And, before I surrender the bimah…
THIS Shabbat marks the 24^th Anniversary of the passing of Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson of righteous memory. I am not a follower of the Rebbe; however, I do turn to him periodically for guidance.

Shabbat Shalom.

In this weeks parasha Shelach (which means to send, send to you, send for yourself)  God commands Moses to send 12 men (SPIES) – to check out the promised land before the Israelites enter the land.

As explained in the parasha the results of this expedition were less than remarkable for at least for 10 of the ‘SPIES’ – in fact one might say it was not only a lack of belief and inspired leadership but also perhaps for our purposes here today – a lack of faith

The Torah explains that a plague kills 10 of the spies with the exception of Caleb and Joshua two of the twelve spies that had faith and perhaps a vision of what God had laid out before the Israelites. Ultimately as we are told in the Parasha – God selects Caleb to replace Moses to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land along with Joshua.

Because of the 10 spies transgressions when they described their fear and supposed risks they described which were associated with entering the promised land God commanded an entire generation of Israelites to wander for 40 years and all men who were 20 years and older would diein the desert  until the new Generation of men younger than 20 years of age were ready to enter the promised land.

There are many interpretations of why the spy activity was a failed project, the consequences of what failure meant to the spies and Israelites and what and why Moses said that God commanded the spies to do.  It was as if God was resetting or renewing expectations for the Israelites by assuring theirs would be a land flowing with milk and honey.  However this idea of a land flowing  may have been hard to conceive for the Israelites after so many centuries of mental and physical oppressive slavery.

It’s hard to imagine that 10 spies did not understand the ‘long game’ with purpose, cause or belief on their mission to evaluate the promised land.

For me this parasha has much to do with internal belief leading to confident, deliberate and strategic decision making related to the risk/reward of entering the Promised Land.

And where was Dwight Eisenhower to offer his insight? Eisenhower famously said,  “In preparing for battle, I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable”  The Israelites never got to the planning stages. Sometimes simply asking a question amongst a group of people with the same purpose, cause or beliefs is all that one needs to start a positive movement.

Like – How can we make this land of milk and honey OUR society?

A society that is a safe and healthy, where our people will be treated not as slaves but instead with humanity, dignity and respect.  A society without petulant, autocratic and demigod rulers and instead with laws that are fairly administered to all.

Rather than having an inspired vision from God for creating a just and verdant society, one with social, economic, education and welfare based systems, 10 of the spies had a fearful vision of the risks associated with taking over the Canaanite land. Some of the spies stated that the Israelites were like grasshoppers next to the large overwhelming Canaanite community.

It’s sort of paradoxical to think that 10 of the spies were fearful of the Canaanite Nation  when the ‘WORD ON THE STREET’ was out that all nations should fear the Israelites – God’s people who were able to flee and out run the powerful nation of Egypt.

In the big picture the entire spy situation appears to be a test or validation of the Israelites fidelity to God. For IF the Israelites had truly believed that God could help them they would have trusted Gods request to check out the promised land in the first place.  Right?  You know the God who cast plagues upon Egypt and helped Moses negotiate the exit plan and ultimate emancipation from Egypt.

For me this parasha is about a lack of thoughtful and abject POSITIVE AND INSPIRED leadership. Also it’s about the negative beliefs of the 10 spies who ultimately influence the Israelites into believing that the risks of entering the promised land out-weighed the benefits.

Would the risks of entering the Promised Land been ameliorated had the spies beliefs, causes or purpose been bigger than the commandment that  they the spies were to ‘scout-out’ the land?

For example – perhaps God or Moses being the visionary he was could have framed an INSPIRED vision that this Promised Land is actually safe and would bring laughter, hope, health, happiness AND that this Israelite society was one they could create and develop by and for the Israelite Community, the Chosen People so the Community could continue to learn Torah, pray to one God, create an economy, raise families, livestock and crops,  build homes live in peace and expand the surviving generation of people who had been through so many life changing experiences in such a short  period of time.

OH Yes and by the way there is this community of Canaanites and we can figure out a strategy to extricate them since their beliefs are antithetical to ours. With a little inspired leadership would that or could that vision have changed perspectives, attitudes, fear and uncertainty for the Israelites?

Caleb from the tribe of Judah  and Joshua from the tribe of Ephraim were the optimists who believed a story like or similar to this.

They had vision, belief, cause and purpose perhaps because they held personal beliefs and hope for future generations of Israelites and they remembered clearly what God had done for the Israelites by bringing the Chosen People out of oppression.

Perhaps Caleb and Joshua also believed that because the Israelite people successfully made it out of oppressive Egyptian captivity with the help of God and the leadership of Moses the Israelites could successfully move into the land they had been promised by God. Sure it would be risky though Caleb and Joshua must have found the faith, confidence and belief within themselves to know that it was possible.

The strength in their minds and hearts for God, for a better life that did not initially include wandering the desert. Caleb and Joshua  saw a glass that was not only half-full but perhaps they thought it was important to have a larger glass for a vast society inspired and envisioned by God for the Israelites. For Caleb and Joshua moving into the Promised Land was the best option for the Israelites.

Here are four take away’s for me from today’s Parasha when it comes to making important decisions:

1) be vulnerable enough to share what is known and what is not known and ask WHY- for example – Why are we going into the promised land? Why is this important and why should anyone care?

2) ask questions of ourselves and others like: How can we better care for ourselves and others in our community so we know where we are going and what our purpose, cause and beliefs are about?

3) listen closely and humbly to questions others ask and listen carefully for answers that make sense to our hearts and minds and are consistent with our personal values and beliefs

4) share knowledge to discover new questions/answers that will inspire us to move forward

A favorite TED Talk of mine is Simon Sinek’s How Great Leader’s Inspire Action. Sinek states that ‘Leaders hold positions of  power or authority. HOWEVER we all have a choice to seek out inspired leaders or organizations that cause us to follow not because we have to but because we want to.  We follow inspired leaders not for them – but for ourselves.