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Toldot 5781 – True Strength

Esau is surely one of the most tragic figures of the Bible.

He is a simple man, whose robust nature leads him to rejoice in his own health, strength and energy. Esau loves to hunt. He celebrates the outdoors! Esau is a man of impulse. Like Rambo or John Wayne, Esau thrives on his tremendous power, his physical courage and his own inner drives.

We distrust the intellectual, someone who thinks too much…We prefer a man who can impose his own will through a show of determination and strength, someone who does not plan in advance, someone who can relish the moment and trust his own passions.

Modern America admires that. Therefore, our feelings are not — and should not be — subject to control.

The Torah asserts, to the contrary, that every aspect of being human — heart, mind and soul — needs constant training, direction and restraint.

The story of Esau and Jacob is the story of these two conflicting approaches to being human. Esau comes home after a day of hunting and he wants to eat. Meanwhile, Jacob has prepared a pot of lentil stew. Here, the man of action meets the man of forethought. Acting on impulse, Esau demands to be fed.

Responding with calculation, Jacob agrees to sell his stew in exchange for Esau’s birthright. Living in the present, Esau sees no benefit in his birthright. After all, it doesn’t satisfy his hunger, so his parting with his birthright represents no real loss.

Jacob, on the other hand, lives with one foot in the future. Less powerful than his burly brother, Jacob compensates by using his mind and by weighing the consequences. He prefers to skip a meal if that means he will acquire the birthright of the covenant.

What makes this Torah’s story so powerful is that we can easily understand Esau’s motivation. As Americans, we are taught from earliest childhood to admire unrestrained expressions of feelings, to treat our emotions as somehow beyond our own control, as somehow sacred. Ultimately, what makes us human is precisely that willingness and ability to control and channel our deepest drives.

The Mishna asks, “Who is powerful?” It answers, “One who conquers his own impulse.” Jacob’s ability to control his own drives, to manipulate the present in order to thrive in the future, his ability to restrain himself now in order to benefit later, is profoundly out of touch with mainstream American values. Moreover, it is precisely this trait that lifts a person above the moment and makes the future possible. A fitting trait for the Eternal People.

The Talmud teaches us that true strength and power is not found in our ability to control others, but rather in the ability to control ourselves. Rashi explains that anytime we are tempted to do something immoral or wrong yet restrain ourselves, we achieve the highest level of intimacy with the Divine.

He explains that part of our many failings stem from our insistence on forming rationalizations and justifications with which we allow ourselves to indulge in whatever we want to do. In this week’s Torah portion, Isaac is faced with an incredible dilemma. For over 60 years, he has been pinning his hopes and dreams on his eldest son, Esau, to carry on his legacy. Yet when faced with the reality that his judgment was wrong, he avoids all rationalizations and excuses and says, “Jacob will be blessed”

That is why in Jewish mysticism Isaac is the only one of the three Patriarchs to be described as “strong.” He had the ability to face the truth and avoid all attempts at justifying himself. He had real strength: the strength of character to do what was right, not just what was pragmatic and comfortable. Anytime we conquer our inner drive and exert self-control, we attain a taste of the Divine, right here and now.

I wish each of you a safe and spiritual Shabbat Shalom!

Feed My Starving Children

Feed My Starving Children was a huge success for the Kehillah. Twenty-one members of Kehillat Chaverim volunteered their time to pack meals for the organization. We gathered at their Richardson location, listened to a brief orientation and set of instructions, donned our hairnets, washed our hands, and started packing meals for El Salvador.

Some people scooped components of the MannaPackTM meals, while others made certain the bags met the weight range before being sealed and packed into boxes. Each time we finished filling a box of meals, our team cheered loudly. Several other groups were also donating their time that night and we all had fun packing while listening to music and also competing with other tables. At the end of the evening, all participants had completed packing 88 boxes which equates to 19,008 meals that will feed 52 kids for a year. Bravo Kehillat Chaverim !!

Beha’alotcha 5779 – Was That Really Fair

This week’s Parsha, Beha’alotcha, is filled with many topics and many messages. Such a diverse Parsha, to be suitable for a D’var, must be limited in scope. I have chosen to focus on complaints and Lashon Hara (idle gossip). Although the slave nation that left Egypt witnessed one miracle after another, far be it from them not to complain. Rather than thanking G-d for the miracle of Manna, they instead grumbled that they wanted meat. They grumbled, but didn’t blame Moses for the non-fulfilment of their desires. Don’t get me wrong. Grumbling against G-d is a dangerous practice for which the complainers paid dearly. When meat, in the form of a flock of birds, was provided to the grumblers their gluttony was rewarded with severe intestinal problems.

Compare this to the gossip of Miriam and Aaron. Moses married Ziporah. Miriam and Aaron complained about the marriage and wondered how Moses could have entered into a forbidden marriage. Why didn’t he marry from among his people? But this was not a prohibited marriage. Ziporah’s father was a Midianite and, therefore, a descendant of Abraham. The marriage was perfectly legitimate. Miriam is stricken with leprosy and Aaron is allowed to waltz away scot free. Is this really fair? Far be it from me to question G-d’s judgment. Everything G-d does, I believe, has a purpose. Often, I cannot understand the purpose. This appears to be the case here.

Several attempts have been made to justify the differential treatment of Miriam and Aaron. Miriam, it has been argued, was the instigator with Aaron merely agreeing to her position. But isn’t the nature of gossip that it takes more than the spreader of gossip to constitute gossip? Doesn’t there also have to be a receiver? If the receiver goes on to spread the gossip, or accept its content, hasn’t the intermediary party also committed a wrongdoing? Isn’t the true vile aspect of gossip that it can have a far- reaching negative impact? There is a famous story about a man who spread gossip against his Rabbi. The man eventually sought forgiveness from his Rabbi. The Rabbi told him to tear up a feather pillow and shake out the feathers. The man told the Rabbi that all had been accomplished and asked if he was now forgiven. The Rabbi advised him that one more thing remained to be done. All of the feathers had to be retrieved and returned to the Rabbi. The man complained that this was impossible. The Rabbi acknowledged this and informed the man that such was the nature of gossip. Once disseminated, gossip spreads and can never be fully eliminated.

That Miriam was punished, therefore, seems appropriate. But once again, what about Aaron? Aaron, you will please recall, was the High Priest. He had daily duties that had to be performed on behalf of the Jewish people. If Aaron was stricken with leprosy and had to be removed from the rest of the people, how could he perform his Priestly duties? This rationale is sometimes given for the sparing of Aaron from punishment. I am, however, troubled by this argument. Perhaps Aaron should not have been stricken with leprosy as the result would have been detrimental to the entire nation. But why couldn’t he have received some other punishment that would not interfere with his duties?

Some argue that Aaron’s punishment was having to see his sister stricken with leprosy. This may havebeen worse than if he himself had been Divinely punished. Although there may be some merit to thisnotion, it appears to me to still fall somewhat short. If Miriam stands as an example to teach people that Lashon Hara (idle gossip) is greatly frowned upon by G-d, then shouldn’t all gossipers be subject to punishment? Compound this with the fact that the gossip was against Moses whom G-d spoke to directly and instructed directly and the transgression becomes even greater.

One last argument that is advanced stands out as, perhaps, the strongest. It is noted that when the transgression is brought to light, Miriam says nothing. There is no sign of contrition. Aaron, on the other hand, pleads to Moses to pray to G-d for Miriam’s recovery. Moses then asks G-d to heal Miriam and Miriam is healed. This, some argue, was an act of contrition on the part of Aaron that served as an atonement for his wrongdoing. Aaron, please note, did not plead for himself.

Whether or not you accept any of the arguments advanced for the differential treatment of Miriam and Aaron– whether or not you believe that Miriam was treated fairly in comparison to Aaron— what is clear Is that idle gossip is destructive and should be avoided. How to avoid gossip? I guess the easy way is not to start the gossip. But another effective tool is to make it clear that you are not interested in listening to gossip when approached with gossip. And, at the very least, don’t spread it further.

Shemot 5779

Shemot is the story of Moses and the people Israel. It is also called the Exodus. But literally, Shemot means “Names”. But what is… in a Name? G-d gives a name to the first man, Adam. One of the important tasks which G-d gave to Adam, was to name the plants and animals of the Earth. Is it as Shakespeare said that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”, or do names really matter? For instance, we call G-d, Hashem, The Name. Isaac Ben Eliezer, the founder of Hasidism, is called the Baal Shem Tov, master of the good name. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me? I’m not so sure about that one, but it serves us well in childhood. In adulthood, when we boil things done to their basics, Names do matter!

We go through life as descendants from a lineage with the same last name, and in honoring our father and our mother we honor that name. As Jews, we shudder at the thought of a member of our Jewish family bringing shame or dishonor to the name, Jew. Names conjure potent images and emotions of historical and spiritual importance. Everyone knows and responds to certain Historic names such as Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob, Rachel, Leah, Moses, Miriam, Aaron, and more recently Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Churchill, Thatcher, Hillary, and dare I mention… Trump?

Names become real when they evoke emotion and inspiration in others so as to become something bigger than that individual person. The task placed before Moses was to be the Israelite and Human representative and spokesperson for the One and Only G-d Almighty, not just G-d of the Israelites but the Creator of ALL. How awesome was this responsibility! How humbling was this task. Yet, Moses lived through many travails, in such a way, as to grow into his Name, and to grow the emotional and inspirational response to his Name. Hashem does speak to us all, maybe not “face to face” as he spoke to Moshe, and obviously not with such a humbling task as to lead the Israelites out of bondage. Yet, if we listen carefully with our heart, we can hear our specific individual tasks as members of our community. Little by little, through how we respond to our travails, we can become our names. When we care to honor our mothers and our fathers, we embellish our names so as to evoke emotions and inspiration in others that grow and support our community. None of us here today, may ever lead a Nation out of bondage, but we may eventually find what it takes to grow into our Names. Shabbat Shalom!

Vayishlach 5779 – Think You Have Problems?

Jacob’s journey through life continues. He has already encountered one struggle after another. After leaving home at a young age he has to deal with the likes of Laban. Laban continually tries to cheat Jacob, but Jacob prevails. Not only with respect to marriage, but also regarding just compensation for his many years of service to Laban which resulted in Laban becoming very wealthy. Earlier he had to deceive Isaac to get a blessing from Isaac that logically should have gone to him. Rachel foresaw from the start that Jacob would be the son to carry on the traditions of Abraham and Isaac. Also, Jacob was the son dedicated to Judaism. Perhaps things would now change given that G-d ordered Jacob to return home. But, alas, this was not to be the case.

A quick synopsis of Vayishlach demonstrates that Jacob’s struggles do not cease. To the contrary, theyincrease. Jacob fears his brother Esau. Esau is wealthy and powerful. An encounter with Esau could prove to be devastating to Jacob and his family. On the way home Jacob is met by a stranger who is intent on doing battle with Jacob. During the nighttime fisticuffs, Jacob is dealt a severe blow to his thigh which renders him an invalid for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, Jacob’s beloved wife Rachel is pregnant. The pregnancy goes awry and Rachel dies after childbirth. A grieving Jacob makes a deal with Chamor for land to bury Rachel. He buries Rachel and then learns that his only daughter Dinah was raped by Shechem. Shechem is none other than the son of Chamor. Shechem asks for Dinah’s hand in marriage. Jacob consents on condition that Chamor and all males under his control, including Shechem, undergo circumcisions. Jacob and Chamor would then merge as one family. To his shock, Jacob learns that two of his sons, Shimon and Levi, massacre Chamor, Shechem and all their males after they undergo circumcisions. Jacob fears retaliation by other segments of Canaan.

Let’s fill in some of the gaps in my synopsis. Jacob was so fearful of Esau that he chose to split his camp in two. He sent gifts to Esau to hopefully ease any tensions. Jacob reasoned that if Esau decided to destroy him, some of his family may survive by separately encamping them. Fortunately,the reunion of brothers was somewhat cordial. The threat of destruction, however, always loomed.

Jacob’s battle with a stranger is believed to either have been a dream or an actual encounter with an angel. What is clear is that Jacob was able to prevail by battling throughout the night. As daylight approached, the angel was forced to end the battle by conceding defeat. The encounter may have been through a dream. The thigh injury to Jacob was, however, totally real. The angel (or whatever) was forced to bless Jacob. Jacob’s name was changed to Israel demonstrating that he prevailed with G-d.

Before Rachel died from childbirth she named her son Benoni. This mean son of my woe. Jacob changed his son’s name to Benjamin (Binyamin) which means right hand son. Rachel is buried along the way. My family was able to visit Kever Rachel many years ago before it became too dangerous to visit this sacred shrine. Her burial place is still considered a religious monument for travelers.

How sad and ironic that the purchase of land by Jacob to bury Rachel should result in further travails for him. Jacob is a man of his word. Despite the agony he felt regarding the rape of Dinah by Shechem, hewas deeply disturbed by the breaking of his word to Chamor caused by Shimon and Levi. The attack, incidentally, took place on the third day following circumcision. This coincided with the time when the pain of circumcision was at its maximum. Additionally, Jacob feared retaliation from neighboring peoples if the word got out that Jacob is not to be trusted. As an aside, the women and children of Chamor became part of Jacob’s family, but only after all of their idols were collected and buried.

Why did Jacob have to struggle all of his life? Please keep in mind the sale of Joseph is yet to come. Jacob’s miseries are not ended. Was Jacob destined to lead a life of struggle? What exactly qualified him to become one of our forefathers? Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks has an interesting perspective. He notes that Jacob was able to accomplish something that neither Abraham nor Isaac were able to accomplish. All of Jacob’s children kept the faith. Jacob was an eesh tam (a simple man). His life was a series of struggles. Nothing came easily to him. He is the only patriarch who chose to be chosen. Some heroes, Rabbi Sachs adds, are so idealized that they seem inhuman. Not so with the struggling Jacob. Abraham was given to us for love. Isaac for fear. Jacob to those of us who struggle. If you ever struggle with faith, think of Jacob who became the “father-in-faith for all of us.

Naso – 5778 – Naso

The word Naso/Nasso means to ‘Take a Census’ or to ‘Lift Up’. While the idea of counting our people seems somewhat mundane it was actually an important aspect in the evolution of the Israelites. It’s also kind of funny to think that in order to take a Census we need to COUNT AND we should consider that this is the 2nd story in the Book of ‘NUMBERS’ . COINCIDENCE??

The parashah addresses priestly duties, camp purification, restitution for wrongs committed, the wife accused of unfaithfulness, the Priestly Blessing, and consecration of the Tabernacle.

So what about this Census and Lifting Up stuff? God commands Moses and Aaron to “lift up” the Children of Israel by concluding the census. In other words to actually witness or examine or take notice of and inventory or audit groups of people such as the Koathites, Gershonites and Merarites. Why is this important?

Well – while God values the individual there was also a practicality in counting the numbers of Israelites. For example – having enough food, clothing, shelter and of course TORAH.

The Torah seems to imply that Moses and Aaron, and the general population of Israelites, needed to count one another and audit the numbers of people within groups of their community.

So God commands Moses and Aaron to make sure there are enough essentials and to ‘notice’ each person and assess each one for what was most significant at that time – the ability to serve and fight in defense of the vulnerable people of Israel. This of course introduces an entirely new discussion about Diaspora and fighting for survival and beliefs in one God etc.

Nevertheless the Naso torah portion is a deliberate commandment with purpose and intent for saving the chosen people. Helping to protect and keep them safe.

The value of counting is also evident when we consider that God made us in his image and commanded us to count one another long ago to preserve what he had started.

Similarly we count ourselves today with a Census. In fact the entire population of the United States is counted every ten years as mandated in the U.S. Constitution.

I am not an official historian however the idea for a US Census theoretically began way back when – the emergence of OUR vulnerable and emerging nation had also been under attack. How many men were needed to fight for our liberty and freedom?

How much food, shelter, clothing and Automatic Firearms or eh Muskets were required? We had a need to count our numbers of men, women and children.

As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and Rabbi James Bennett (who writes in the “World Union for Progressive Judaism” ) point out that the realities of our world today cry out for ‘a Census’ counting more than ever. A census of heart and mind, as well as body, is necessary. Moses and Aaron were in the ‘meeting needs’ business. God commanded them to take care of the children of Israel – You know – food, clothing shelter AND TORAH.Rabbi Bennett goes on to note that Israelites were called upon to count every person in their society because, quite simply, every person counted.

SO WHAT HAS CHANGED?

We are challenged daily to act on the values we profess and when we fail to do so, we abandon values such as Tzedek (justice), Chesed (lovingkindness) and Derech Eretz (the way of the world) upon which our faith and our people were established. Rabbi Bennett asks – will we be complicit, as we safeguard and practice and maintain our Jewish beliefs and values, with those around us who are able to ignore such core values? Or will we speak out, as did the prophets of our ancient Jewish tradition, and demand that the world we live in be one founded on the very values we profess to cherish and read in Torah?