In this Torah portion, Moses continues his speech to the Israelites. He tells them they will have to annihilate people who are not believers in God. Moses reminds them not to forget God’s commandments even after they enter the land of Israel, and that they must continue to fear God. The Torah portion also mentions the second part of the Shema: “…(we should) serve G-d with all y(our) heart & all y(our) soul”. 

Following the ‘respectful Shema reminder’ to the Israelites, Moses emphasizes the need to put all that we have into serving God by directing the Israelites to ‘circumcise their hearts’.  Of course, this is a metaphorical rather than a literal request, reminding the Israelites of their part in the divine-human covenant which mandates fidelity and exclusivity in the relationship between God and the Chosen People.

The underlying message here is that the Israelites should maintain their vulnerability to & awe of God by opening their hearts to a spiritual connection with the Divine – but that they should not be opening their hearts to the gods worshiped by those around them. Moses reminds the Israelites of this obligation through specific directives that will help them to avoid the temptation to join in the practices of idol worshippers in the land they are about to conquer whom God calls “an abomination upon the land,” and who are to be “wiped out” by the Israelites upon their entry into the “Land of Milk & Honey.”

It is quite likely that many Israelites did hold doubts within their hearts regarding what would occur upon their entry into the promised land. Many of them probably needed to strengthen their beliefs in the existence of only one God. Moses understood this and helps them by rebuking and reminding them of their parents and grandparents past failings as a people – from their creation of a Golden calf after Moses disappears upon Mount Sinai for 40 days and nights – to their doubts about God’s ability to enable them to stand strong against the people of the land, put out by 10 of the 12 advance scouts sent to “spy out the land. And then, of course, the was the constant complaining by all of the Israelites during their desert travels – complaints about thirst, hunger, and their longing for better living conditions, all the while nagging Moses with that timeless question of traveling children everywhere: “Are we there yet?”

In doing this, Moses was explaining to this new generation of Israelites about their nation’s shared purpose: to be faithful to the one God who created the universe and to follow the teachings of God’s Torah – the two most important elements of our Jewish culture. Of course, for most of these younger Israelites, who had not been present at the giving of the 10 Commandments, this was the first time they were hearing about these concepts and ideals in any organized fashion. These beliefs were ones that had to be learned, practiced, and reinforced with each new generation during their travels since they were an evolving community that would now have to make its new home in Israel after 40 years of wandering around the Sinai dessert.

With the new Jewish year almost upon us once again, perhaps this is a good time for all of us to consider ways that we can continue to grow and expand in our Jewish beliefs, purpose, values, and practices. For example:  Can we add the Shabbat candle blessings to our weekly Jewish practices?  Is there an opportunity to learn and read a Torah portion or to lead the Torah service?  Where and how can we give back to our larger Jewish – and non-Jewish – community? 

While this is a brief list to consider for the new year, at least it’s a start in thinking about way to give thanks for everything we’ve achieved while demonstrating our appreciation and respect for our community, our cultural heritage, and, of course, our Creator.

Shabbat Shalom!

 What a wonderful parasha this week. Vaetchanan is loaded with magnificent things. The Ten Commandments, the V’ahavta and the Shema are all found in this parasha. Such a sweet week to give a d’var. Sixty-three years ago, this was my bar mitzvah parasha. My bar mitzvah brought so much joy to so many people who were special to me. I miss these beloved people.

Shabbat Nachamu. The Shabbos of comfort. We read in our haftorah, Isaiah, chapter 40, verse one: “Be comforted, be comforted, my people.” This chapter of Isaiah, written during the Babylonian exile after the destruction of the Temple, imagines a time when God will forgive the Jews for the sins that resulted in the 1st Temple’s destruction. The prophet’s words paint a picture of God’s triumphant return to a Jerusalem cleansed of sin, whose conquerors have been banished. He extols God’s power as mightier than all the nations of the world and explains in great detail why fashioning idols to worship is a useless endeavor. The haftarah calls to mind the horror of the first Temple’s destruction on Tisha B’Av even as it imagines a future time when things will be better.

Such a sad time surrounding Tisha B’Av (the 9^th of Av). So many tragedies to recall. So many tragedies. So much suffering.

The juxtaposition between the parasha and the haftarah blows my mind. How paradoxical that they should both be read on the same Shabbos. But isn’t this indicative of life which is both bitter and sweet? As I think about Parshat Va’Etchanan, I feel joy. I think back to my bar mitzvah. I enjoy the marvelous things that appear in the parasha. But I also feel sadness as I think about the tragedies that have surrounded Tisha B’Av throughout our history.

Let me recall for you some of the tragedies that our people suffered “bayamim hahem bazman hazeh” – in those days at this time of the year:

1. 1317 B.C.E. – Ten spies sent to Canaan return with a bad report.
2. 586 B.C.E. – The Babylonian army destroys the 1^st Temple on Tisha B’Av.
3.  70 C.E. – The Roman army destroys the 2^nd Temple on Tisha B’av.
4. 135 C.E – The Bar Kochba Rebellion ends after their loss at Beitar
5. 1095 – Pope Urban II declares the First Crusade. Nobles and peasants are encouraged to join in a holy military expedition, led by the knights of the realm, with the goal of ending the Muslim possession of Jerusalem. “The People’s Crusade,” made up of both peasants and commoners, is formed. Their goal: To join the expedition and to help prepare the world for the Jesus’ return by ridding the world of infidels who won’t accept Jesus as the Messiah. In the process, they kill thousands of Jews on their way to Jerusalem. The Christian knights finally wrest control of Jerusalem from the Muslims four years later on the 27^th of Tamuz, during the “3 weeks” period prior to Tisha B’Av.
6. 1290 – Edward the 1^st issues his Edict of Expulsion against the Jews on the 2^nd of Av.
7. 1492 – Ferdinand and Isabella sign the Alhambra Decree, expelling the Jews from Spain. Jews are forced to abandon their homeland or convert to Christianity by the 8^th (or some say the 9^th) of Av.
8. 1914 – WWI begins on the 5^th of Av.
9. 1942 – Deportations from Warsaw Ghetto to Treblinka begin on the 8^th of Av.
10. 1942 – Treblinka begins operations on Tisha B’av;

Shabbat Vaetchanan. Shabbat Nachamu. Indeed. How bittersweet.

Good Shabbos.

Parashat Devarim is read the Shabbat before Tisha B’av, which begins Wednesday night of this upcoming week. Tisha B’av is a day of mourning including a full day fast with the same restrictions as Yom Kippur. We sit on the floor as if we are in the shiva period of mourning. We mourn the destruction of both Temples as well as Jews murdered during other periods of destruction including, the Spanish Inquisition, the pogroms, the Holocaust, and others. Rabbi Fried writes in his TJP column this week, we also “…mourn the lack of connection to our spiritual Source, our lack of clarity.”

Devarim begins with Moses giving a speech to the Israelites in which he recounts their journey through the wilderness, reminding them of past mistakes while describing the challenges that still lie ahead. We should remember, at this point, that Moses is not speaking to the adult Israelites who originally left Egypt, but to their children. The original adults of the Exodus had been sentenced to wander for 40 years and die in the desert because they had lost faith in G-d very early on, when 10 of the 12 spies returned from their reconnaissance of the land and declared the land and its inhabitants too frightening and dangerous to conquer.

Despite that fact, and despite the fact that G-d had decreed that the Israelites now poised to enter the land would inherit in their parents’ places, Moses speaks to the current generation as though they are old enough to remember the events he is recounting (although many of them are not) and as though they, too, bear the responsibility for the sins committed by their parents. Perhaps he does this so that this generation will understand the burden they carry to behave differently, to be more faithful to G-D than the generation before them had been.

Perhaps it is simply because Moses is exhausted from the burden of leading two million or more people out of slavery in Egypt and then journeying with them through the desert for 40 years instead of the much shorter journey he originally expected to take with them. Throughout those 40 years, Moses was responsible for inspiring that 1^st generation of Israelites, who repeatedly lost faith in G-d, to fulfill their commitment, nonetheless, to their covenant with G-d.

It is not an easy job to lead and motivate a large group of people. After all, there was no Twitter or cable news for mass communications. Imagine how long it took each week to chisel the weekly newsletter into tablets of stone.

Moses was not unaware of the challenge posed by leading Israelites out of Egypt to the land of Canaan, even at the outset. In recounting the journey to the generation now ready to enter the land, he says, “Thereupon I said to you, ‘I cannot bear the burden of you by myself. The Lord your G-d has multiplied you until you are today as numerous as the stars in the sky . . . ‘ ” (Devarim 1:9-10) Whereupon G-d commands him to appoint judges over tens, and hundreds, and thousands, to help him in his task. Moses’ delegation of his responsibility to these judges helped both Moses and the Israelites to endure.

Somehow, through all the adversities we have faced as a people over the past thousands of years, we, too, have managed to endure. Rashi’s interpretation of these verses focuses on the image Moses invokes of “stars of the sky”. When Moses refers to the stars, he is talking about the Israelites growing in numbers, but Rashi focused on the stars in the heavens, sometimes burning brightly and sometimes faintly, but never disappearing, just as the Jewish people have continued to exist as a nation throughout thousands of years. While we have always been a minority compared to the far greater world population, we as a people have existed – and continue to exist – in order to bring light to the world.

We live in a time of division in our country and growing division in Israel. As we prepare for Tisha B’av we should reflect on improving our spiritual selves and how we can continue to spread our light both within our own people and in the rest of the world. In the coming days, a few thoughts to think about.

1. Take time to examine your own life. Are you treating others with kindness and empathy? Do our words and actions uplift and support those around us? Each of us can make a difference.
2. Today, we witness various forms of injustice, such as discrimination, poverty, and oppression. Make a commitment to work towards rectifying these inequalities against Jews and against others. Become an advocate for change and actively help those in need. Just as the Israelites were instructed in chapter 1:16-17, “Hear disputes between your brethren and judge righteously between every man and his brother and the one who has come from abroad. You shall not show favoritism in judgment. You must hear the small and the great alike.”
3. There is no better time than this week to think of our environment and how our actions of the past and, more importantly, our actions going forward impact our environment – particularly with regard to climate change. Devarim teaches us to cherish and protect the land that sustains us. It is our responsibility to save our planet for future generations by advocating and participating in practices that will safeguard our planet.
4. We must all strive to build bridges with those we may not politically or ethically agree with. Just as Moses stressed the importance of unity and solidarity among the Israelites, the biggest threat today facing the Jewish people is ourselves. We, in America, cannot afford to further divide ourselves either religiously, ethically, or politically. We must begin to build bridges instead of reinforcing our walls. It pains me to witness the increasing strife in the streets of Israel between Jews on the left and those on the right. Military reservists are protesting the recent vote removing Supreme Court Oversight of the Knesset by refusing to serve, putting the security of Israel at risk. CEOs of startups and managing directors of venture capital firms are taking steps to move their assets elsewhere, which could precipitate a financial crisis on top of the political. We Jews have enough enemies without spurring infighting amongst ourselves.

Whether or not you go to shul Wednesday night and/or Thursday spend the next few days reflecting on how we can continue to keep our star shining bright. Devarim marks the beginning of the last book of the Torah. We end our reading and then start over again. We continue to exist as a people because each apparent “ending” our people have faced has ended, almost miraculously, in a new beginning. The strife of our current time can end in a new beginning as well if we do the work to make it so. So, let’s use this time as we approach the High Holidays to reflect on how we can better ourselves, how we can better our community, how we can better the Jewish people, how we can better the world around us and how we can improve our spiritual relationship with G-d.

Shabbat Shalom.

After 40 years of journeying through the desert, the people of Israel arrive in the wilderness of Zin. After Miriam dies, there is no more water and the people become thirsty. God tells Moses to speak to a rock and command it to give water. Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly of people together in front of the rock, and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels! Must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. But God said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”

Why did this happen? Moses was a leader, and a leader must be a role model. The anger Moses expressed would be common for most people. However, for a person of Moses’ stature it was unacceptable. Aside from the anger itself, Moses’ tone at the rock set a poor example for this younger generation who looked up to him for guidance and for a moral example. That is why Moses was punished so heavily for a failure that might have been more lightly punished in some one less exalted. Maimonides said by losing his temper, Moses failed to respect the people and might have demoralized them. This one moment of anger was sufficient to deprive Moses of the reward of seeing the culmination of his work by leading the people across the Jordan and into the Promised Land. In letting his anger control him, Moses gained nothing but an expression of his bad temper; he lost his entire future.

Maimonides also said that we must avoid anger under any circumstance and must go to the opposite extreme. Even when anger is justified, we must avoid it. There may be times when it is necessary to look as if we are angry. But when we outwardly display anger, inwardly, we should be calm.

The Sages were outspoken in their critique of anger. They would have approved of the modern concept of anger management. They did not like anger at all and reserved some of their sharpest language to describe it. “The life of those who can’t control their anger is not a life”, said the Sages. Reish Lakish said, “When a person becomes angry, if he is a sage, his wisdom departs from him; if he is a prophet, his prophecy departs from him.”

Pirkei Avot asks the question: Who is strong? The answer given is that a strong person is one who can control himself or herself, is slow to anger, and is able to master his or her own spirit.

The Orchot Tzaddikim notes that anger destroys personal relationships. Short-tempered people scare others, so others avoid coming close to them. Anger drives out the positive emotions of forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and sensitivity. The result is an irascible person who ends up lonely, shunned, and disappointed.

Despite the above references, anger is usually a completely normal, healthy human emotion. However, when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems – problems at work, in one’s personal relationships, and in the overall quality of one’s life.

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often belligerent feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary for our survival.

However, if we are dealing with ongoing frustrations at work, the loss of someone close to us, financial worries, family issues, or other sources of tension, then instead of getting angry, it is better to address the deeper issue. Anger is dangerous in those circumstances because it causes us to lose control. While in the grip of a hot temper, we lose the ability to step back and evaluate the possible consequences of our action. The result is that in a moment of ire, we can do or say things we may regret for the rest of our lives.

Often, anger builds because we do not immediately address the problem. What might have begun as a very minor issue becomes a major one in our minds, ultimately causing us to explode in rage and act inappropriately. The best approach in the case of these minor issues that anger us is to try and address the situation as quickly and as constructively as possible, and then to let the anger go.

Another way to deal with anger might be the mental approach of cognitive restructuring. Simply put, this means changing the way we think about an event so as to change our feelings about it. When we are angry, our feelings can displace our rationality, which leads us to magnify our hurts and their causes, until our memory of the event becomes less factual and, occasionally, dramatically exaggerated. But, if we choose to do so, we can analyze the circumstances causing our anger logically, which can help us replace our instinctive, emotional reactions with more rational ones. We can do a reality check with others to see if our memories match the facts of the event; then we can evaluate whether our reactions were proportional to those facts. Logical analysis eventually will overcome our anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, quickly becomes irrational and difficult to uphold.

Once logic has had its say, how can we further manage our anger and avoid projecting our emotions onto others?

First, we can start by acknowledging our behavior and the need for a positive change. We need to be true to ourselves and to release any issues from the past so we can try to move forward anew with a fresh and positive outlook. Holding on to past anger and resentment prevents personal change and positive interactions from occurring in the future.

Next, we need to get tuned in to ourselves, so we are aware of our reactions and communication when speaking. If we are upset or feeling the escalation of emotions which precedes an aggressively angry reaction, we can give ourselves permission to step away from the situation to collect our thoughts so we can continue the conversation in a productive manner. Once our emotions are more under our control we can choose how best to proceed.

If those techniques don’t help, we can try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or counting to 10 before speaking. Most important: when speaking with someone about a conflict or difficult issue, we need to do our best to express our feelings without being confrontational. We need to be aware of the triggers that might incite others’ anger as well as our own. We should do our best to minimize outside forms of stress, since stress often aggravates a person’s feelings of aggression and anger.

Angry people tend to jump to conclusions and to take actions based on those conclusions even though the assumptions they have made can be inaccurate. The first thing we need to do if we are in a heated discussion is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying and try to understand the other person’s perspective before answering. We need to slow ourselves down and think through our responses rather than saying the first thing that comes into our heads.

Above all, in learning to manage our own anger, we need to find reasons to feel good about ourselves and ways to value ourselves. We need to be compassionate with ourselves and to learn from our past difficulties rather than dwelling on them and allowing them to consume us and affect our self-esteem. After that, we will be able to use that same compassion in dealing with those who cause us anger.

Remember: We cannot eliminate our anger and it probably would not be a good idea to do so even if we could. In spite of all our efforts, things will happen in life that will provoke our anger. In some cases that anger will be entirely justifiable. Life inevitably includes frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. We can’t change that; but we can change the way we let such events affect us. Managing our angry responses in a productive fashion can prevent our anger from making us even more unhappy in the long run. The antidote to anger is patience.

Moses’ angry response to the Israelites’ complaints, and the consequences of that reaction in this week’s parsha, teaches us the importance of stepping away and putting some space between us and any pressurized situation we may be dealing with.

Living a moral Jewish life requires that we grapple with our anger but never let it win. The directive of Judaism in this case is simple: Either we defeat anger or anger will defeat us. Just ask Moses.

By Michael Carr

After 40 years of journeying through the desert, the people of Israel arrive in the wilderness of Zin. After Miriam dies, there is no more water and the people become thirsty. God tells Moses to speak to a rock and command it to give water. Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly of people together in front of the rock, and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels! Must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. But God said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”

Why did this happen? Moses was a leader, and a leader must be a role model. The anger Moses expressed would be common for most people. However, for a person of Moses’ stature it was unacceptable. Aside from the anger itself, Moses’ tone at the rock set a poor example for this younger generation who looked up to him for guidance and for a moral example. That is why Moses was punished so heavily for a failure that might have been more lightly punished in some one less exalted. Maimonides said by losing his temper, Moses failed to respect the people and might have demoralized them. This one moment of anger was sufficient to deprive Moses of the reward of seeing the culmination of his work by leading the people across the Jordan and into the Promised Land. In letting his anger control him, Moses gained nothing but an expression of his bad temper; he lost his entire future.

Maimonides also said that we must avoid anger under any circumstance and must go to the opposite extreme. Even when anger is justified, we must avoid it. There may be times when it is necessary to look as if we are angry. But when we outwardly display anger, inwardly, we should be calm.

The Sages were outspoken in their critique of anger. They would have approved of the modern concept of anger management. They did not like anger at all and reserved some of their sharpest language to describe it. “The life of those who can’t control their anger is not a life”, said the Sages. Reish Lakish said, “When a person becomes angry, if he is a sage, his wisdom departs from him; if he is a prophet, his prophecy departs from him.”

Pirkei Avot asks the question: Who is strong? The answer given is that a strong person is one who can control himself or herself, is slow to anger, and is able to master his or her own spirit.

The Orchot Tzaddikim notes that anger destroys personal relationships. Short-tempered people scare others, so others avoid coming close to them. Anger drives out the positive emotions of forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and sensitivity. The result is an irascible person who ends up lonely, shunned, and disappointed.

Despite the above references, anger is usually a completely normal, healthy human emotion. However, when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems – problems at work, in one’s personal relationships, and in the overall quality of one’s life.

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often belligerent feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary for our survival.

However, if we are dealing with ongoing frustrations at work, the loss of someone close to us, financial worries, family issues, or other sources of tension, then instead of getting angry, it is better to address the deeper issue. Anger is dangerous in those circumstances because it causes us to lose control. While in the grip of a hot temper, we lose the ability to step back and evaluate the possible consequences of our action. The result is that in a moment of ire, we can do or say things we may regret for the rest of our lives.

Often, anger builds because we do not immediately address the problem. What might have begun as a very minor issue becomes a major one in our minds, ultimately causing us to explode in rage and act inappropriately. The best approach in the case of these minor issues that anger us is to try and address the situation as quickly and as constructively as possible, and then to let the anger go.

Another way to deal with anger might be the mental approach of cognitive restructuring. Simply put, this means changing the way we think about an event so as to change our feelings about it. When we are angry, our feelings can displace our rationality, which leads us to magnify our hurts and their causes, until our memory of the event becomes less factual and, occasionally, dramatically exaggerated. But, if we choose to do so, we can analyze the circumstances causing our anger logically, which can help us replace our instinctive, emotional reactions with more rational ones. We can do a reality check with others to see if our memories match the facts of the event; then we can evaluate whether our reactions were proportional to those facts. Logical analysis eventually will overcome our anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, quickly becomes irrational and difficult to uphold.

Once logic has had its say, how can we further manage our anger and avoid projecting our emotions onto others?

First, we can start by acknowledging our behavior and the need for a positive change. We need to be true to ourselves and to release any issues from the past so we can try to move forward anew with a fresh and positive outlook. Holding on to past anger and resentment prevents personal change and positive interactions from occurring in the future.

Next, we need to get tuned in to ourselves, so we are aware of our reactions and communication when speaking. If we are upset or feeling the escalation of emotions which precedes an aggressively angry reaction, we can give ourselves permission to step away from the situation to collect our thoughts so we can continue the conversation in a productive manner. Once our emotions are more under our control we can choose how best to proceed.

If those techniques don’t help, we can try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or counting to 10 before speaking. Most important: when speaking with someone about a conflict or difficult issue, we need to do our best to express our feelings without being confrontational. We need to be aware of the triggers that might incite others’ anger as well as our own. We should do our best to minimize outside forms of stress, since stress often aggravates a person’s feelings of aggression and anger.

Angry people tend to jump to conclusions and to take actions based on those conclusions even though the assumptions they have made can be inaccurate. The first thing we need to do if we are in a heated discussion is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying and try to understand the other person’s perspective before answering. We need to slow ourselves down and think through our responses rather than saying the first thing that comes into our heads.

Above all, in learning to manage our own anger, we need to find reasons to feel good about ourselves and ways to value ourselves. We need to be compassionate with ourselves and to learn from our past difficulties rather than dwelling on them and allowing them to consume us and affect our self-esteem. After that, we will be able to use that same compassion in dealing with those who cause us anger.

Remember: We cannot eliminate our anger and it probably would not be a good idea to do so even if we could. In spite of all our efforts, things will happen in life that will provoke our anger. In some cases that anger will be entirely justifiable. Life inevitably includes frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. We can’t change that; but we can change the way we let such events affect us. Managing our angry responses in a productive fashion can prevent our anger from making us even more unhappy in the long run. The antidote to anger is patience.

Moses’ angry response to the Israelites’ complaints, and the consequences of that reaction in this week’s parsha, teaches us the importance of stepping away and putting some space between us and any pressurized situation we may be dealing with.

Living a moral Jewish life requires that we grapple with our anger but never let it win. The directive of Judaism in this case is simple: Either we defeat anger or anger will defeat us. Just ask Moses.

In this week’s parasha, Sh’lach, which means “send,” God commands Moses to send 12 men to “spy out” the Promised Land before the Israelites enter into battle for its possession.

As explained in the parasha, the results of this expedition were less than remarkable for at least ten of the spies. Those spies saw only the dangers of entering the land of Canaan and described these dangers in such frightening terms that they demoralized the entire Israelite nation. It was not their finest hour. In fact, one might say that these ten men not only lacked the qualities needed for inspirational leadership but also lacked faith in God. 

Of the 12 spies that God sent to scout out the land, only two men—Caleb the son of Yefuneh and Joshua the son of Nun—had faith in the vision that God had laid out before the Israelites. The other ten incite a riot and a rebellion among the Israelites. As a consequence for leading the Israelites astray, God sends a plague to kill the ten spies who lacked faith. Caleb and Joshua are the only spies left standing.

Because of the ten spies’ success in demoralizing the Israelites, undermining their faith in God’s promise, and inciting them to rebel, God condemns that entire generation to wander in the desert for 40 years—long enough for all of the men who were 20 years and older to die in the desert and the next generation of men—those younger than 20 years of age at the time of the spies’ actions—to grow up and mature to an age when they can enter the Promised Land and fight for Abraham’s legacy. Forty years hence, when the Israelites finally enter the land, Joshua and Caleb will be the only men left from that generation. In fact, God selects Joshua as Moses’ successor and the one who will, ultimately, lead them into the Promised Land and into battle against the Canaanite tribes.

It’s a shame that those 10 spies did not realize that their mission to “spy out the land” was actually a test of faith. For me the message of this parasha is about the kind of internal beliefs that lead to the kind of confident, deliberate, and strategic decision-making process one needs to engage in when evaluating the ratio of risks to reward in any undertaking. But when the undertaking is one ordered by God, surely one can assume that the scales will be tipped in one’s favor.

It’s a shame that the Israelites couldn’t have consulted with Dwight Eisenhower, who could have shared his wartime insights with them. Eisenhower famously said, “In preparing for battle, I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” The kind of planning Eisenhower advocated could have helped those spies feel much more confident in their abilities to achieve the desired outcome. Instead, because of the doubts the 10 spies instilled, the Israelites never got to the planning stages and the two remaining spies, who had faith in God’s plan, were unable to cut through the noise generated by fear in order to lead through inspiration. Sometimes simply asking a question amongst a group of people is all that one needs to change a crowd’s focus from the negative to the positive. 

Like – How can we make this land of milk and honey OUR society?

• A society that is a safe and healthy one, where our people will be treated not as slaves but instead with humanity, dignity and respect.
• A society without petulant, autocratic rulers, but one which is governed through laws that are fairly administered to all.

Rather than believing that God would lead the Israelites to victory so they could enact God’s vision for creating a just human society through equality-based economic, social, and legal systems, the first 10 spies panicked upon seeing the height and breadth of the Canaanites’ physiques. Some of the spies stated that the Israelites were like grasshoppers next to the overwhelmingly large Canaanite men. In their terror they forgot all about God’s promises and focused instead on their fears their own demise because of the risks associated with taking over the Canaanite land.

What a paradox! The ten spies were so terrified of the Canaanite nation they forgot that the “word on the street” was that all the other nations should fear the Israelites because their God was so powerful they were able to escape and outrun the mighty kingdom of Egypt.

From our perspective, it seems quite obvious that the entire spy situation was a test to validate the Israelites’ fidelity to God. For if the Israelites had truly believed in God they would not have been swayed by the alarming report their ten spies had brought back regarding Canaan’s inhabitants. Right? They would have remembered that it was their God who cast plagues upon Egypt and helped Moses negotiate their exit plan and ultimate emancipation from Egypt.

For me this parasha is both about the way a lack of thoughtful, positive, and inspired leadership leaves a vacuum that is often filled by the loudest, but not necessarily the wisest voice. It’s also an example of the way that fear, when exposed to negative beliefs, can influence a population into believing the worst. By describing the Canaanite men as superhuman giants and saying that the Israelites had no hope of defeating them, the ten spies magnified the Israelites’ natural apprehensions regarding going into battle into an all-encompassing fear that surpassed their memory of God redeeming them from Egypt.

Imagine how different the Israelites’ reaction would have been—even if those ten spies had given them exactly the same information—if only those spies had ended their report by saying something like: “But with God’s help we can figure out a strategy that will allow us to defeat them, so there is no reason to fear.”

Of course, Caleb and Joshua, the two spies who stood in opposition to those ten tried to say exactly that but, by then, the Israelites had already been whipped into a panic and so their calming words went unheard.

A favorite TED Talk of mine is Simon Sinek’s How Great Leader’s Inspire Action. Sinek states that leaders hold positions of  power or authority, however, we all have the choice to seek out inspired leaders or organizations that cause us to follow—not because we have to but because we want to. 

We follow inspired leaders not for them – but for ourselves. It is up to us to choose ones that inspire us to overcome our fears rather than those who encourage us to succumb to them.

Good Shabbos!

Nothing is more difficult than admitting a mistake, but nothing is more human than making one. There are several places where the Torah deals with making mistakes and the merit of admitting one’s mistakes. In our parsha, we learn of the sota, a wife who is suspected of adultery. When the sota is accused, she is encouraged to admit her mistake if she is guilty, and to accept a writ of divorce from her husband. If she denies her guilt then she is forced to drink the bitter waters to prove her innocence. If she is guilty, she will die; if she is innocent, she will be cleared of all suspicion. The law of sota teaches an important lesson. We often rationalize our own mistaken and misguided behaviors instead of facing our flaws and mistakes. The law of sota highlights the importance of admitting one’s wrongdoing in order to move forward and engage in the rehabilitative process of repentance. Without the ability to admit our own wrongdoing, we risk losing the hope of being able to move on.

Immediately following its description of the ordeal of the sota, the Torah addresses the vow of the nazir, or Nazarite. This is a voluntary vow that any individual can take upon him or herself. The vow requires the person to avoid wine or any grape product, to refrain from cutting his or her hair, and to avoid all contact with the dead for a fixed period of time. Why do the laws of nazir follow the laws of the sota? Rashi comments that: “Whoever sees an adulteress in her disgrace should vow to abstain from wine, for it leads to adultery.” One should learn from the experience of seeing another person, the suspected adulteress, make a mistake by committing oneself not to make the same mistake through taking the vows of a nazir.

The ordering of the laws for the sota and the nazir in this week’s Torah portion teaches us that we can learn from others’ mistakes and through the safeguards of our Torah. We do not need to suffer through devastating consequences in order to learn to live differently.

The effect of the prayers we say on Yom Kippur and other times during the year is to create a culture in which people are not ashamed or embarrassed to say, “I got it wrong, I sinned, I made mistakes.” However, the inclination to admit mistakes is anything but widespread. Our instinct is to rationalize. We justify. We deny. We blame others. We have almost an infinite capacity for interpreting the facts to vindicate ourselves.

Maimonides teaches us that true teshuvah, true repentance, occurs when we find ourselves in the same situation and we don’t make the same mistake. But he doesn’t tell us that true repentance means we won’t make any mistakes anymore. Mistakes and failures can happen even when we do our best.

Conventional wisdom tells us that mistakes are valuable teachers. They are how we grow and gain a better understanding of our world. They teach us how to behave. They enable us to teach others what we have learned. “I made a mistake” are four words nobody ever wants to utter. But mistakes are a natural part of human growth and development.

Recognizing that no individual is flawless, it becomes critical for each person to be willing to examine him or herself, to improve, and to learn in order to become better than before. And one of the key ways in which we learn is through making mistakes. When we make a mistake, we receive feedback from our environment that lets us know that we have done something wrong. This feedback is essential for our learning and development. If we did not receive this feedback, we would not be able to improve our behavior and would continue making the same mistakes over and over.

We know it is important to learn from our mistakes, but this is not always easy to do. We often find it difficult to let go of our old ways of doing things, even when we know that they are not working for us. Some of us also might feel as though admitting our mistakes makes us look weak. Our resistance to change can be a major obstacle to our learning and growth.

But admitting to and correcting your mistakes does not make you look weak; it actually makes you look stronger. When you admit mistakes, you establish a culture of open communication and demonstrate your willingness to improve. You set an example for others with your attitude that acknowledging our mistakes teaches us to do better in the future.

Mistakes teach us about who we are. Messing things up is a crucial part of gaining information about ourselves and our lives. It can free us up to pursue our goals. Theodore Roosevelt said, “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” While the fear of failure can often prevent us from trying new things, accepting mistakes as part of life can have the opposite effect—freeing us up to pursue our goals without limitation.  It can help us clarify our priorities.

Mistakes are perfectly normal parts of the experience of life. Time and time again, we are told that our mistakes don’t define us, however, some people feel differently. Although we are not our mistakes, there is a way our mistakes do define us, because of the impact they have on us. The specific mistake we make is not as important as what we get from that mistake. Mistakes define us because, if we cannot make up for the mistakes we have made, we are at least supposed to learn from them. Thomas Edison said: “I have not failed 1,000 times to make a light bulb. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways not to make a light bulb.”

And, some mistakes can have unexpected, positive outcomes. For example, in 1928, Alexander Fleming left a Petri dish out on a lab table which became contaminated with a particular mold; this mistake led to the discovery of penicillin. 

Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. It is natural to try and run from mistakes, cut losses, hope nobody notices or makes a fuss, and then move on. In reality, our mistakes are precious opportunities. They give us insight into life and ourselves and allow us to become stronger by learning to avoid the same pitfalls in the future. In this week’s parasha, we learn about the comeback process after making a big mistake. Mistakes are a built-in feature of life. And they happen for a very good reason. When they do happen, there is an acknowledgement of the error and a process of improvement. Life is a journey of growth and development, and we can only grow if we know where we are deficient. A mistake supplies that piece of the puzzle. Our mistakes teach us what not to do in the future and show us character traits we can improve.

Our mistakes take us to where we need to be. They were meant to happen, and mistakes will happen again and again. Just look back and be thankful for the lessons you learned because of them. They gave you character and molded you to become a better person. You need to make mistakes to encourage and inspire you.

I found an anonymous quote: “Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.” In New York City, you can find the Museum of Failure. It documents 150 failures such as New Coke, Crystal Pepsi, the Edsel and DeLorean, Sony Betamax, Potato chips with Olestra and many more examples. Statements you see in the museum include: “If we don’t have failure, we don’t have innovation,” and “No progress without failure.”

In summary, learning from our mistakes is essential for both our personal and professional development. It allows us to avoid repeating the same mistakes, grow as individuals, and become more productive members of society. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before.

So, here’s to your next mistake.

In today’s parasha Moses asks G-d  to give the Israelites divinity, vision, and insight into the future. Moses was given a ‘gift’ that made it easier for the Israelites to understand the message of Torah. In turn this provided more time to live Torah rather than learning how to read.

G-d intended for all Israelites to hear or listen to the words of Torah and live the commandments.  The first word of the parasha is “re’eh,” which means “look” and derives from the Hebrew verb root for “see” (spelled: “resh,” “aleph,” “hey”). This root is used in conjugated form 175 times in the Torah and more than 400 times in the Tanach, which points its importance in understanding how we are to live a ‘Torah life’.

Although the word “re’eh” is translated here as “see”, we can interpret re’eh as referring to more than the physical act of seeing. It’s also about listening to the Torah’s commandments, understanding them, and following them correctly so that we can live a full Jewish life according to the Torah’s laws.

Understanding Torah and its many messages can be tough – simply ask one of our Torah readers. Sometimes assuring people are listening to the meaning of your d’var torah can be equally challenging.  In my brief experience of studying Gemara, mixed messages and meanings often result in confusion, leading to ‘lively’ discussions.

So it was during the period when Torah was given to the Jews. At the time, not many people could actually read the Torah let alone understand or correctly interpret its laws—hence the establishment of advisory bodies of wise men, like the Sanhedrin.

When public readings of the Torah began, it was actually read aloud to all by the few who knew how to read. Supposedly, the chanting of the Torah began with Ezra the Scribe back in 547 CE. To get the attention of Jews so they would listen to the Torah portions, a melody was added to the words.

When speaking with others or writing & reading a d’var torah, it helps to create an emotional message to get an emotional response. Will it make the audience or individuals you communicate with laugh or cry?  Will they feel anger, confusion or simply accept the message?

This reminds me of the Maya Angelou quote: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

God and Moses had a desire for the Israelite people to see, hear, and understand what was being said in giving the Torah laws. But what they really, really, wanted was to assure that the people were tuned into the mitzvot of Torah and were living life according to its mitzvot.

The Israelites heard the laws and recognized that their future would be better based on following commandments for living an abundant life of Torah. They connected emotionally with what they heard.

Perhaps this is why the phrases we use today, such as mazal tov, yishar koach and baruch t’hiyeh have evolved: to acknowledge both what we heard and how it made us feel.

So, no need to take notes. Build on what you have heard by making it your own. Offer an emotional response or acknowledgement for the messages received.

English poet and author, Henry Shukman captured this idea in this quote: “When you listen and look deeply, you find beauty. Beauty that can last beyond a moment. It is through attention to the world, to each other that we come truly alive.”  

Good Shabbos!

A few weeks ago Alan introduced us to a D’var Torah written by artificial intelligence of ChatGPT. There is also a Jewish artificial intelligence website called Kosher.chat. It is described as being according to halacha and screens for antisemitic remarks. Here is a Dvar Torah written by Kosher.chat on Parshah Bamidbar.

In Parshah Bamidbar, we learn about the counting of the Jewish people in the desert and the journey of the Jewish people through the deserts. This journey was not an easy one, as they faced many challenges along the way. One of the most difficult challenges was death. Death is a natural part of life, and yet it can be hard to accept when it happens to someone we love.

As Jews, we believe that death is not the end.  It is merely a transition from this world to the next. We also believe in the importance of mourning and honoring those who has passed away. In Bamidbar we see how the Jewish people mourned for Aaron, their beloved high priest, after he passed away.

Hashem commands Moshe to take a census of the Levites who are responsible for transporting the Mishkan (Tabernacle) and its vessels. The age range for this census is from 30 to 50 years old. After the age of 50, they were no longer allowed to participate in this service. This limitation on age teaches us an important lesson about death. Death is inevitable for all of us and it is not something that we can control. It reminds us that our time on this earth is limited and we must use it wisely. Just as the Levites were allotted a specific time period for their service, we too have a finite amount of time to fulfill our purpose in life. Fortunately, today we don’t age out on counting in minyans or being able to participate and to be of service.

Furthermore, the fact that the Levites were only able to serve until the age of 50 shows us that while our physical abilities may decline as we age, our spiritual potential can continue to grow. We should focus on developing our spirituality and connection to G-d throughout our lives even as our bodies age.

As we reflect on the lessons of Bamidbar, let us remember the importance of valuing life, cherishing our loved ones, and honoring those who have passed away. May we all strive to live meaningful lives and make a positive impact on the world around us. This limitation on age teaches us an important lesson about death. Death is inevitable for all of us, and it is not something that we can control. It reminds us that our time on this earth is limited, and we must use it wisely.

But that is not all for today. I would also like to tell you the story of my Uncle Freddy’s posthumous YouTube fame. My Uncle Freddy was born in Essen Germany and emigrated to the US with his parents in the 1930s. He was in the army in post WWII and, since he knew German, he worked with military intelligence interrogating high ranking prisoners of war. After the war, he married my Mum’s youngest sister Betty and was a VP of a meat packing company.

Uncle Freddy and Aunt Betty lived on Long Island. Eventually, as many do, they began to split their time between a condo in Boca Raton and their house on Long Island, until they finally decided to live year-round in Boca. When I visited Uncle Freddy, he showed me a certificate from the synagogue. He was so proud that he was a minyanaire: one who attended minyan regularly for several years. This is what he saw as his big accomplishment in life. When Uncle Freddy passed away, his body was transported to New Jersey where he was to be buried. Aunt Betty was not able to make the trip to the funeral so my niece Stephie, who lived in NYC, went to the funeral and recorded it. She posted it on YouTube as Freddy V.’s funeral, just using the last initial of his name. This allowed Aunt Betty and the residents of their condo to view the funeral from afar. After the funeral, my cousin Katie began following the YouTube posting. First there were 100 views, then 1,000 views, then 6,000 views. My niece Stephie went on YouTube and posted a comment stating this was her great uncle’s funeral and asking why so many people were viewing it. She got a reply from the family of a man named Freddy Fender. They said he went by Freddy V and asked her to change the name of Uncle Freddy’s funeral on YouTube. Of course she didn’t. The views continued to increase, reaching 60,000 over time. Then the movie Bohemian Rhapsody was released—the story of Freddie Mercury. Somehow, peoples’ searches for Freddy Mercury were bringing them to the video of Uncle Freddy’s funeral. When last I checked, the views had reached 683,814. The comments are fun to read, including the replies to my niece, Stephie’s question, which include comments like, “Thank your great uncle for his service,” and “Your uncle was a great musician.” My family believes that Uncle Freddy would be quite amused with his posthumous fame. At a minimum he is having an interesting transition from one world to the next.

Upon reflection, I think that not many Divrei Torahs include both artificial intelligence and military intelligence references, but we can Goggle that to confirm. I have include the link to Uncle Freddy’s funeral video below, for those who are curious. Uncle Freddy was proud to be a minyanaire and would probably be proud to have an extraordinarily popular YouTube video as well. Rest in peace, Uncle Freddy. May your memory be a blessing and give us an occasional laugh.

Thank you for joining me today and helping me celebrate the 59th anniversary of my bar mitzvah. I have tried to give the D’var each year on this day, and I read through some of these recently. On my 50th anniversary, I spoke of the moment – the exact moment – when I became a bar mitzvah. During the service on that day, as we prepared to take out the Torah, those of us on the bimah made our way over to the aron kodesh.

There I stood, with Rabbi Kummer on my left, Ben Diamond, the President of the shul to his left, and on my right was our hazzan, Mr. Pralick. He was so old; he didn’t have a first name. Even the adults called him Mr. Pralick! Anyway, we belted out the words, “tivneh chamot Yirushalayim,” and I felt it. “Whoa . . .this is very cool,” I thought. “I am now . . . a bar mitzvah!”

That was the exact moment when I became a bar mitzvah. In other divrei Torah, I’ve tried to understand a lesson from the parashah – Bechuchotai. It tells us that G-d will reward those who follow the mitzvot and punish those who do not – even though in our world, at least, that is so demonstrably false. I’ve gotten into some of the arcane explanations that reconcile that cognitive dissonance for those who interpret the Torah’s teachings more literally than I do.

But as we mostly do here in the Kehillah, I’ve centered my comments on the parashah. We don’t usually stray too much from that focus. And typically, there is much to discuss. The Torah is filled with lessons of inspiration that can bear on our lives if we just give them a chance to do so.

Today, I want to focus on a theme that is somewhat different, but no less relevant to me and to us.

One of my very favorite stories and lessons in our entire Bible occurred a couple of months ago, with the reading of the Book of Esther during Purim. The book mentions G-d . . . not a single time. And yet, when the survival of the Jews is threatened by Haman (cue the noisemakers!), Mordechai tells his niece, Queen Esther, “Maybe this (meaning the saving of our people)  . . . Maybe it was for just such a purpose that you are in the position you are in.”  No mention of G-d!

Now, you might think that since I am not one who believes in Divine intervention in every moment, and that as one who does not believe that “everything happens for the best,” or that “there is a reason for everything,” why do I feel Mordechai’s statement is so powerful?

I’ve been thinking about presenting this theme for my dvar for a long time, and an experience at the Holocaust Museum clinched it for me. Some time back, Three of us – my friend Kathy Garber, another Docent Educator, Nelson Weil and I, were asked by the education director, Charlotte Decoster, to come in on a day the museum is normally closed – a Tuesday – and give a private tour to a group of around seventy-five 8th graders from a school for the “talented and gifted.” The school has seen a number of anti-semitic incidents among its students.

The school first reached out to the ADL, but for one reason or another, things didn’t change much, so they called on the Dallas Holocaust and Human Rights Museum for help. Charlotte gathered the three of us before the tour, flattered us by telling us that she had assembled her “Dream Team” (an uncharacteristic accolade by Charlotte) looked at each of us and told us that on that day, we were going to make a difference in the world. The story of Esther and Mordechai came to mind. I had a defined purpose that day.

As I gave the tour and was able to look the students in the eye, as I told them, showed them, and appealed to their better instincts, I felt as though yes, perhaps, just perhaps, I was making a difference. The feedback the museum got from the tour was very gratifying. Indeed, if I were more  . . . religious . . . I might even have said, that was why I was put in that position by G-d.

Those who are asked to be docent educators at the museum are required to prepare a tour with a special theme. Knowing me as you do, it will not surprise you that the title of my themed tour was, “Profiles in Heroism.” On that tour, I feature many people who helped the Jews during the Holocaust. Here, in just a few sentences, are 3 who felt a strong purpose in what they were doing:

Andre Trócme, the leader of a protestant church in France, who implored his parishioners to help Jews who were fleeing the Nazis. “Hide them. Feed them,” he pleaded. And they did so – and saved several thousand Jews. This, felt Pastor Trócme, is what the G-d-given mission of the parishioners was at that time.

Chiuni Sugihara, consular official in Lithuania. In 1940, the Soviets were bearing down from the east, and soon enough, the Nazis would invade from the west. There was horrific anti-semitism in Lithuania even without the Soviet or Nazi menace. Fleeing, desperate Jews poured into his border town of Kaunas. Against the orders of his government, which wanted him back in Tokyo immediately, he gave out around 6,000 transport papers over 29 days, so that Jews could take the railroad across Russia and enter Japan. He thought, “This is why I am in this position.” No specific mention of G-d. He was later disgraced by his government for disobeying orders. No specific mention of G-d.

And finally, Aristide de Sousa Mendez, the Portugese diplomat in southern France. “No visas,” said the Portugese authorities, referring to Jews who escaped their Nazi occupiers. Mendez meditated for several days, finally announcing he had heard a voice–maybe the still, small voice from the story of Elijah? Mendez announced, “Visas for everyone!” This was to become his mission. He distributed several thousand visas to fleeing Jews so they could cross into neutral Portugal through Spain and attempt to make their way to safety elsewhere. He lost his job and died in poverty.

One of the three heard G-d, one didn’t say specifically, and one simply heard a “voice.” But they all had a sense of mission.

Abraham Joshua Heschel has written, “Every person is unique and irreplaceable. Each of us has a unique purpose to fulfill in the world.”

Heschel believed that each moment in time is a precious gift from G-d. He wrote: “Each moment is an opportunity to fulfill our purpose and to make a difference in the world.” He said also that “every hour is endowed with the power to lend meaning to – or withhold meaning from – all other hours.”

Heschel clearly had a view of G-d and of our capacity to carry out G-d’s will that is perhaps somewhat different from mine. However, we could do a whole lot worse than seeing ourselves as people who discover opportunities to affect others, and thus the world, in ways that are unique to the moments we find ourselves in.

So even if we don’t necessarily feel that G-d placed us in a particular position in order to give us a particular opportunity, we can still view those times and circumstances as opportunities to affect positive change in the world and become G-d’s partner in our collective and unfolding history.

Some years ago, I was honored to give Grand Rounds at MD Anderson in Houston – and not a medical talk – it was to be a spiritual talk – good grief!

I concluded with a message inspired by the 13^th century Franciscan monk, St. Francis. As an elderly man, he said, “I have done what was mine to do. May you find what is yours.” My hope and prayer for all of us on this, my special day, is that we all find moments and circumstances when we can make the world better – one deed at a time.