Summary: In Ki Tissa, we read about Moses descending from the mountain with the tablets only to find the people celebrating the Golden Calf which they built in his absence. In his anger, Moses smashes the tablets, and he chastises the people; he then pleads with God to forgive the people and ascends the mountain a second time to receive the second set of tablets.

As I first started preparation of this dvar, I was troubled by Aaron’s instruction and encouragement of the people in constructing the Golden Calf. It doesn’t make sense to me that Moses left Aaron ‘in charge’ and Aaron essentially encouraged idolatry! What was he thinking? Was he just trying to placate the masses as a diversion technique… sort of ‘keep the children busy’ while the parents are away?!

I decided to leave that wonderment alone and found 2 other themes to explore:

• The benefit of a do-over (with forgiveness in between)
• The benefit of engaging the process

Moses pleads with God to forgive the people for so rapidly turning their thoughts away from God and toward an idol. The people are simply human – they were bored, they were uncertain, they were weak and easily swayed – and yet, this is no reason to annihilate them. Moses pleads with God to tame his anger and to remember his covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

But Moses implored the Lord his God, saying, “Let not Your anger, O Lord, blaze forth against Your people, whom You delivered from the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand.  Let not the Egyptians say, ‘It was with evil intent that He delivered them, only to kill them off in the mountains and annihilate them from the face of the earth.’ Turn from Your blazing anger, and renounce the plan to punish Your people.  

Remember Your servants, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, how You swore to them by Your Self and said to them: I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven, and I will give to your offspring this whole land of which I spoke, to possess forever.”  And the Lord renounced the punishment He had planned to bring upon His people.

Wow – Moses persuaded God… that’s a dvar in itself… for another time.

Forgiveness and then a second set of tablets – this is a do-over. God and Moses are giving the people a second chance to learn and follow God’s commandments.

Think about times when perhaps you lost your temper and said something that you later regretted, or a time when you promised to do something but didn’t get it done. Did you apologize and ask for forgiveness? Did you correct your errors?

The lesson here is that the Golden Calf is the greatest sin in the history of the Jewish people and yet, God allows the people a second chance. All is not lost.

What happened to the smashed pieces?

The two sets of tablets, the broken ones and their replacements, are stored together in perpetuity in the Ark of the Covenant.

There is the notion of keeping the broken pieces because they are a reminder of our frailties; they are a reminder that we break, but we can heal. They are a reminder that we can make mistakes and we can recover – all is not lost.

Things that break and heal are often stronger than the original. Building muscle requires tearing first; scar tissue and healed bones can be stronger than before injury. And we can even make something beautiful out of the broken pieces… such as a lovely mezuzah made from the broken glass gathered from the chupah.

From Chabad teachings online, I found that Yossy Goldman commented that:

“G‑d gave us a perfect Torah. The tablets were hand-made by G‑d, pure and sacred, and then we messed up. So is it all over? Is there really no hope now? Are we beyond redemption? After all, what could possibly be worse than idolatry? We broke the first two commandments and the tablets were shattered into smithereens because we were no longer worthy to have them. It was the ultimate infidelity.

So Torah teaches that all is not lost. As bad as it was — and it was bad — it is possible for man to repair the damage. Moses will make new tablets. They won’t be quite the same as G‑d’s, but there will be Tablets nonetheless.”

What does that mean – that the new tablets are not quite the same. How are they different??

For the first set of tablets, Moses ascended the mountain to receive the commandments from God. It is written

When He finished speaking with him on Mount Sinai, He gave Moses the two tablets of the Pact, stone tablets inscribed with the finger of God.

After God agrees to give the people a second chance,

The Lord said to Moses: “Carve two tablets of stone like the first, and I will inscribe upon the tablets the words that were on the first tablets, which you shattered.”  

So Moses carved two tablets of stone, like the first, and early in the morning he went up on Mount Sinai, as the Lord had commanded him, taking the two stone tablets with him. 

And he was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights; he ate no bread and drank no water; and he wrote down on the tablets the terms of the covenant, the Ten Commandments.

Why is the first set inscribed by God and the second set is inscribed by Moses?

Did God do a bait and switch?! He said if Moses would bring the second carved tablets, God would inscribe upon the tablets the words that were on the first tablets… but then we read that it was Moses who spent his 40days and nights with the Lord writing the tablets himself. Why did Moses write the second set?!

I think this exemplifies a second theme which is the benefit of engaging in the process. God kind of says – you broke them, you fix them. Why is that helpful? It is taking responsibility; it is a different level of commitment when you do the work yourself. It is also an opportunity to embed human understanding into the commandments.

Think back to when you were in school or perhaps advice you have given young people to take notes while you are listening to a lecture or writing notes after you have listened to a lecture. The act of writing in addition to listening creates a second neural path in your brain and helps you remember the information better than if you only listened.

I think there is also an enormous benefit to engaging in the process and learning from your mistakes. I know in my current job that the lessons that stick in my mind the best are the ones I have learned while recovering from ‘stepping in it’.

For me, the key takeaways from parsha Ki Tissa are:

• We’re only human. If God can forgive the people for this immense infidelity, we should be able to forgive ourselves as well for our human frailties.
• We make mistakes, and we have opportunities to be forgiven and repair those mistakes.
• It is incumbent upon us to take those opportunities.
• It is incumbent upon us to engage in the process of healing/repair with thoughtfulness and intent.

Shabbat Shalom

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Sources and Inspirations:

https://www.jtsa.edu/torah/ki-tissa-torah/

https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/157695?lang=bi

https://www.sefaria.org/sheets/27764?lang=bi

https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/367485/jewish/Why-Keep-the-Broken-Pieces.htm

https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/259732/jewish/Picking-Up-the-Pieces.htm

Last Shabbat, for Parshat Eikev Bill spoke about Shema – to hear or to understand. Bill explained that the eye takes in all the information simultaneously; in contrast, we hear only one sound at a time and we must put things together, words forming sentences and sentences forming paragraphs, until we can understand the whole concept or meaning.

Our parshah this week is Re’eh which means “to see”. So, why after a parshah so focused on hearing and understanding are we now commanded to re’eh… to see? Are we taking a tour of senses??

Of course, we know the Torah never allows us to stop at the simple meaning “to see” and so, when we dive a bit deeper, we learn that other interpretations would be to understand (just like shema) and further, to empathize or to promise (make a covenant with), and to accept or acknowledge.

As I listened to Bill last week talk about how the eyes receive information, I was thinking about how the brain has to translate the image into perception… that is to create meaning from some visual representation.

Physiologically, the eye transmits the image to the brain upside-down and reversed right-to-left. Our brain flips that image and then basically, scans our memories to assign meaning to that image. If you’ve never seen a flower before, your brain does not yet know how to process it. But once processed, it is basically a retrieval from the ‘filing cabinets’ of your mind and a matching game!

And when you visit the Dallas Arboretum and look at a whole garden of flowers, taking in the whole scene at one time, your brain processes the entire image such that you recognize and ascribe meaning that this is one of your favorite gardens.

BUT what about those who cannot see? Am I saying that they cannot see a flower and understand that it is a flower? Of course, they can!! But for those who are blind, they process information with other senses and still come to perception and understanding that the smell and feel of rose petals are called a rose and feeling the relative position of the petals and stem and leaves, the blind individual perceives ‘this is a rose.’

Continuing to build on the foundation which Bill laid last week: we need to focus our hearing and REALLY listen. Bill quoted Stephen Covey about how people listen with the intent to reply instead of really trying to understand what is being said. That’s honestly a weakness of mine which I actively try to manage in my work relationships. So often, I find that I listen and simultaneously try to categorize information and solve problems or fill gaps. I spend so much energy trying to ‘file’ things in the cabinets of my mind that sometimes I miss the undertones of the conversation… the things not said but which are imminently important to understanding the connections between the topics within the conversation.

It is the same with seeing for the purpose of understanding. Yes, you see images and your brain processes those images and ascribes meaning. But how many times have you looked at something a little differently later that day or the next and you SEE something new?!

Think about optical illusions. You know the image where one look shows you the old lady with big nose and a babushka; and then you blink and you refocus your eyes and see the young lady with the lovely head scarf. Or the classic illusion of MC Escher where stairs are going both up and down simultaneously.

When we see one image and then see the other, we are coming to understand two views of the same picture. This refocusing is a revelation, if you will… a revelation of two meanings. This is a similar to the deeper understanding by not just hearing, but REALLY listening. Interestingly, Rabbi Sacks wrote:

“However, if we examine the role of sight in Judaism, we discover something strange. Often, when the Torah seems to be using a verb or metaphor for sight it is actually referring to something not seen at all, but rather, heard.
Seeing, in Judaism, is ultimately about hearing. Israel is the people called on to reject images in favour of words; to discard appearances and follow, instead, the commanding voice.”
(https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation-5768-reeh-seeing-and-hearing/)

Applied to this week’s parshah, this refocusing our sight is the same as coming to a new level of understanding or appreciation. It is two sides of the same coin.

Indeed, the opening line of this parshah is Moses saying to the Israelites:
רְאֵה אָנֹכִי נֹתֵן לִפְנֵיכֶם הַיּוֹם בְּרָכָה וּקְלָלָה ׃/
(re’eh anochi lifneychem hayom b’racha uklalah)
“Behold, I set before you today blessings and curses”

This sounds like a choice presented to the people… to either follow God’s commandments and reap the benefits, or not follow God’s commandments and suffer the consequences.

Is it really a choice? Or is it perhaps a combination of obligations that we are handed? I think it is the latter. Yes, you have a choice to follow the commandments put before you and you undertake these knowing both the blessings of following the laws and the consequences. And I also submit that consequences are not always negative.

Malka Strasberg Edinger in her dvar on this parshah last year commented that,

“Yet this phrase does not have to be read as a choice. Rather, it can be understood to encompass both: God giving us both blessings and curses at the same time. Life is full of both positives and negatives simultaneously. We all have blessings for which we’re grateful and experience hardships that feel like curses; they co-exist in our lives, and we don’t get to choose only the good or only the bad.”
(https://www.jtsa.edu/gratitude-during-challenging-times)

I think this is really true. You don’t get to choose only the good or only the bad; you can’t have one without the other. In fact, I don’t think you can truly appreciate what is good in your life if you have not familiarity with what is not good. It’s a matter of gratitude.

Are you familiar with stories of people who live on the streets and know hardships are given some extra food or money… when they are blessed with meeting their own needs, they turn right around and help someone else! It has been widely studied, most often by psychologists and philanthropists, the notion that the poor give more (or that the rich are less altruistic).

“…the researchers found evidence that lower-class participants’ greater tendency to perform kind, helpful—or “pro-social”—behavior could be explained by their greater concern for egalitarian values and the well-being of other people, and their stronger feelings of compassion for others.” (https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_poor_give_more )

Is it a stronger feeling of compassion? A sense of fairness? It is simply paying it forward?

When you are blessed in your life with health, family, work and safe living accommodations, I think you have a responsibility to acknowledge that this is not the case for everyone.

Two sides of the same coin – advantages and disadvantages: If you have the first, you are obligated to address the second. A specific teaching within this week’s Torah portion, states “Do not harden your heart, and close your hand from your needy brother”. I found on the JTS website a dvar by Rabbi Stephanie Ruskay in which she shared the teaching of Rabbi Yeshua Lalum, an Algerian community leader, who explained:

“If your heart hardens, your hand will close and your fingers will all appear to be of equal length. In that case you would say to the poor person, go out and make a living like I do. However, when you open your hand up, you can see that your fingers are not of equal lengths. Some are short and others are long. This is how God created them and they are interdependent.”

Rabbi Ruskay continues with:

“Those who are represented by the longer fingers have an inherent systemic advantage; those that are shorter are limited from the outset. When we act as if these advantages and disadvantages don’t exist, we are in fact hardening our hearts and closing our hands… we can open our hearts and our hands, acting generously toward each other and contending with the inequity that exists. Only by seeing inequity can we begin to address it.”
(https://www.jtsa.edu/seeing-inequity)

Threaded throughout Re’eh are other commandments which give instruction on empathy, fairness or kindness. Examples include the Laws of the Sabbatical Year (Shemittah, or release) in which we are commanded to cancel all debts and also to free any Hebrew slaves, making certain you provide them with basic needs. Also, to see and acknowledge those who are on hard times and can benefit from the leavings of your field – allow them to glean your fields every third year.

Behold, I set before you today blessings and curses

Parshah Re’eh commands us to acknowledge our blessings and encourages us to think of the ‘curses’, not necessarily as negative consequences, but as positive obligations to work towards the opportunity to share our blessings with others.

May your open eyes lead to understanding and gratitude; and may your gratitude open your hands and hearts to help others.

Shabbat Shalom

In Hebrew, Bamidbar means “in the desert” or “in the wilderness” but in English, we call this book of the Torah “Numbers”. This parsha represents both meanings. There is a focus on numbers in that God tells Moses to conduct a census. Once counted, the people broke camp and started out to the wilderness. There is a lot of instruction on who does what (to move the tabernacle) and where they should set up camp – a lot of attention is paid to the separation of tribes and how many in each.

So, why count everyone and then separate them?

• You count the things you love. Think about counting or reviewing pictures of your family. Think of your family tree – it is not just who is related to whom but how many branches on that tree and how many people per branch.
• You count so that you don’t lose track. Think back to going on a field trip in grade school… the teachers always knew how many kids were on the bus and who was paired up. They counted as you entered the bus, they counted as you moved through the museum and then counted again as you returned to the bus.
• You count so that you can equitably divide up goods. You need to know how many people will be at your socially-distant yard gathering so that you know how many chairs to bring out and how many pizzas to purchase.
• You count so that you can be adequately represented in political districts

And then why do you separate those who are counted?

• You separate the masses in an effort to balance the resource load on the available space. Everyone cannot fit into exactly the same space… so there has to be some decision on who will reside where.
• You separate people so that they get along. Think about all the decisions when assigning guest places at a sit-down wedding reception!
• You separate the masses so that you can create some order (or at least you think you are creating order).

BUT… I thought Jews were not supposed to count other Jews. I learned to identify the presence of a minyan by count as not-one, not-two, not-three etc. OR you just nod once per person and don’t ascribe a number at all. I thought that counting people devalues the importance of the uniqueness of each individual.

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks explains that within this command to count the people, God actually does still place an importance on each individual member of the Jewish people. The specific instruction is for Moses to count the Jewish people while “lift

In Parshat Tzav, we continue learning about the laws of sacrifice and there are distinctions drawn between the different types of offerings – sin offerings, burnt offerings, and homage offerings. In this parsha, God also commands the priests to make a special offering (the offering of ordination) which solidifies them in their roles.

There is much discussion about how do laws of sacrifices find meaning in today’s world. I’ve decided to leave that theme alone. Instead a couple of themes to explore are the ideas of 1) keeping the fires burning, and 2) isolation.

God instructs Moses to tell Aaron and his sons

And the fire on the altar shall burn on it; it shall not go out…
The kohen shall kindle wood upon it every morning

The fire on the altar must be kept burning at all times and each different type of offering is brought before the fire. Where do you have fire in your lives today?

Well, we have literal fires which keep us warm or cook our foods and we have shabbat candles. A fire in the fireplace or in a backyard firepit draws us near; we are warmed by it and we can be mesmerized by it, So, too, the Shabbat candles draw us in but the warmth is more of a spiritual kind – maybe reminding us of times with our families – and a way to help separate the mundane work week from the holiness of Shabbat. Think even about keeping your oven warm over Shabbat – it is reminiscent of keeping the fire on the sacrificial altar kindled at all times.

But we also can think of these fires as internal encouragement, excitement, passion and spiritual enthusiasm.  Rabbi Jeremy Kalmanofsky wrote, in the Tzav chapter of ‘Text Messages – A Torah Commentary for Teens’

On a more poetic level, the commandment to keep the ‘constant fire’ burning symbolizes how we should nurture our own inner spirits, our passion and enthusiasm. After all, where does the fire burn? Not on the altar, but within – within the heart of the person who brings the offering.

We each balance our daily life with caring for others and finding beauty in our world. Those are examples of the warmth and empathy within each of us. Additionally, we often strive to create – music, art, new recipes, clothing (and recently masks). These are outward examples of the fires which burn inside each of us to add beauty to our world, to help others, and to find personal pleasure. Each time we do a good deed, we are feeding the fire. And each time we come together as a Kehilla, we are stoking the fire which is our commitment to each other, and our community.

God commands Moses to instruct Aaron and his sons

You shall not go outside the entrance of the Tent of Meeting for seven days, until the day that your period of ordination is completed…You shall remain at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting day and night for seven days, keeping God’s charge

And so, a period of isolation begins for Aaron and his sons. The reason – To ensure that they do not contact anything or anyone who is impure. Well, that sounds kind of familiar. But why seven days? This aligns with seven days of creation.

Seven days doesn’t seem so bad… but it’s interesting that, as I was researching for this dvar, I found an article that describes how Nadav and Avihu, 2 of Aaron’s four sons, (in the parsha Shemini) did not handle this period of isolation so well. The story of Nadav and Avihu describes how the brothers decided they would prepare an ‘extra’ offering to God and because it was not commanded, the brothers were punished by death.

This story suggests that, in isolation, some people get carried away, and may lose sight of their connection to the community. The reminder should be that a period of isolation is a means to accomplishing a goal… it is not meant to become a permanent condition.

This is exactly why it is important to remain connected to each other. To check in, and to use our technology to gather virtually and turn on our webcams so that we can truly connect by looking at each other. No judgement. Only the enthusiasm to join together and share the light of Shabbat through smiles and songs.

Shabbat Shalom

Inspirations

Text Messages – A Torah Commentary for Teens

Etz Hayim

https://www.chabad.org/parshah/default_cdo/aid/15575/jewish/Tzav.htm

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/torah-portions/parashat-tzav/

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/challenging-isolation/

And God spoke to Moses: I shall give you my laws. And you shall take them unto the people.

Moses (aka Mel Brooks): Hear me! Oh, hear me! The Lord, the Lord has given these 15 <crash> … ten commandments for all to obey!

What was in the other 5 commandments? What are we missing?

Well… they were probably the Terms & Conditions and no one reads those anyway.

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In Parsha Yitro, we read about the giving of the Ten Commandments.

And yet, the parsha is named after Moses’ father-in-law. How is it that Yitro upstages the giving of the law??

The parsha is actually divided into two parts. The first is the story of Yitro arriving to Mount Sinai, after hearing of all the miracles of the Exodus. He knows Moses has been the chosen leader for the Exodus and he sees how people come to Moses all the time for advice and judgments on all matters of dispute. Moses listens and acts as a judge, making decisions for the people… It is an exhausting job!

Yitro comments:

 “What you are doing is not good. You will surely wear away, you as well as this people that is with you; for this thing is too heavy for you—you are not able to perform it yourself alone.”

You cannot do it alone… you must delegate!! Yitro advises Moses to appoint a hierarchy of magistrates to share the burden.  Ah… but how do we know who will make a good leader? What qualities must they have?

Yitro continues:

But you must also seek out, from amongst all the people, able and G‑d-fearing men, men of truth, who hate unjust gain; and appoint them over the

In 5779, Joel delivered the dvar for Lech Lecha and I delivered the dvar the following week for Vayera. And here we are, in 5780 following the same pattern.

Are we in a rut? Following on the heels of Lech Lecha and Joel talking about “Go. Become.” I have to wonder if that is exactly what is happening… Are we becoming sages on these particular parshiot?

Last year I talked about how, when we are becoming whoever we are, we need to not limit ourselves by using labels. We are far more than…

• where we live
• or the jobs we do.

Who we are should be a full-blown story and how we started writing that story is the essence of Lech Lecha. The journey begins in Lech Lecha. When Abraham leaves his home, that is akin to the birth of the individual.

Vayera is more about finding yourself and what you stand for. After all, this is the parsha in which Abraham says ‘Hineni’ – Here I Am… and it is this statement which shows Abraham’s awareness of himself and his role and his relationships.

The juxtaposition of Lech Lecha and Vayera is necessary. You have to let go of who you were…to find yourself. I started thinking about all the times that we do this – we separate and let go of one version of ourselves to transition to the next version of ourselves.

• At birth, we physically separate from mom and become an infant.
• At Kindergarten, we physically separate from our parents and enter the world of school, learning, playing with others and we become a student (and a friend).
• At 16, we leave the safety of letting others chauffeur us around and take responsibility as a driver. This is a huge separation for lots of kids. Thinking back on our girls growing up, I think that learning to ride a bicycle and rolling off without a parent was the precursor to that individual freedom.
• At 18, we go to college… and for some that means physically leaving home and all that we know from growing up. I think this is when we are most like Abraham and truly, truly start the journey to find out who we are.

If we were lucky, we took the time in our 20s to try on new hats – to try out different versions of ourselves. We couldn’t have done that if we had stayed in our parents’ home. If you didn’t venture out of your parents’ home, you risked becoming stagnant in that child-like role.

I found a couple of quotes from Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks which brought it together for me. Rabbi Sacks wrote:

• The Torah is teaching us something fundamental and counter-intuitive. There has to be separation before there can be connection. We have to have the space to be ourselves if we are to be good children to our parents, and we have to allow our children the space to be themselves if we are to be good parents.
• Abraham had to separate himself from his father before he, and we, could understand how much he owed his father. He had to separate from his son so that Isaac could be Isaac and not simply a clone of Abraham.

There has to be separation before there can be connection. This is why we understand our parents when we become parents ourselves.

I can remember being slightly annoyed when my mother would hug me too tightly before I left home to return to college. And I can remember not understanding what is the big deal and why is she crying whenever I my vacation was ending.

I had to separate from my mom and become a parent myself before I could begin to connect with the emotions that she has been displaying for the last 30 years. It wasn’t until Rachel and Lilly left for college that I understood the uncertainty of not knowing when I would see them next… and I have experienced the lump in my throat.

When I was 20 years old and in college, I wrote a poem for my mother for Mother’s Day. It was called ‘All Her Life For One’. In this poem I expressed things I had never said before and I think it was a turning point in my personal growth as well as an important moment in my relationship with my mom.

All her life for one
The guiding hand
That holds me along the paths
The light that warms me
By which I learn to read
The open book
That invites me to partake

Tease me
Hug me and always be my friend
The love, like cool brooks
Runs over the rough spots,
Both fast and slow; it comes
To rest in a pool
That is continually filled –
The love between you and me.

But what is your reparation?
How do I repay all the love,
And confidences you’ve taught me?
How do I express the gratitude,
When I’m so young and inexperienced
In the face of your world?

Why is it your world, when we are
Both women and can share so much more than a mother-daughter relationship?
Stand by me as I learn about an entire world
And ache to share with you all my experiences.
I’ll never leave you behind when I’m forging ahead, because it is you and
It has always been you who stood by me
when I need an extra push or a pat on the back.
You have helped me realize my potential

I plan to grow to fulfill whatever I can
And make you love me more.
I can only respect your sacrifices
Because you have dedicated and given of yourself.
I refuse to be a selfish and
Helpless child anymore…
It’s your turn
To be appreciated
And pampered
And endearingly loved.

I had to make space for myself to become an independent woman, to realize gratitude, and to be ready to give that same kind of love and care and attention to my own kids.

Maybe it’s obvious, but I’m going to say it anyway. The need to make space for yourself is not a ‘one and done activity’ – we cycle thru Lech Lecha and Vayera multiple times in our lives; we cannot do one without the other.

• At 25 (plus or minus a few years), we enter into a marriage and become a life partner and maybe some of us lose the sense of self at this stage. And for the next several years we are so focused on having a life with another person and starting a family that the “I” takes a backseat to the “we”.
• And then one day, the kids move out… and the ‘we’ is a little smaller and you once again, begin the journey to a new version of yourself. Maybe this time, with a little more wisdom and confidence, you try a very different hat.

In the book ‘How Stella Got her Groove Back’ by Terry McMillan, Stella is a 40-year-old woman who defines herself by the products she uses and the accessories she chooses. Her materialistic life is all that defines her. Stella has lost her ‘groove’ – her fundamental sense of self that gives her life rhythm – and she no longer understands her own motives and needs. In an effort to ‘find herself,” Stella goes on a solo trip – this gives her time to separate from her everyday life and within that space she is able to re-examine her life and her goals, boost her self-confidence; she level-sets and finds some freedom in her new definition of self.

It doesn’t matter how many times you cycle through these stages; you are always in the process of becoming and of realizing who you are. Give yourself the space to be… to become you.

Shabbat Shalom

Sources of Inspiration

https://www.aish.com/tp/i/sacks/To-Bless-the-Space-Between-Us.html

How Stella Got Her Groove Back by Terry McMillan

Chukat is about mortality. In this parshah, we read about the death of Aaron and Miriam – two of three of Israel’s great leaders in the wilderness; we also read about the death sentence for Moses – that he shall not enter the land of Israel. I also think that Chukat is about the importance of water – there are 22 mentions of water in this parshah and they range from vessels of water, to bathing in water, to the Sea of Galilee.

Before you can talk about mortality, you first have to focus on life. Water is life. Well yes – without water you cannot survive past a few days. In an article by Yonatan Neril, about Chukat and Water Consciousness, he wrote that

G-d takes the essential tangible resource of water (without which we cannot live for more than a few days) and gives it to us in an environment where we do not have it. We learn to appreciate water… In an ultimate sense, water does not nourish us. G-d does. Water is one of the chief means by which G-d provides life to us every day. The see-saw experience of having water and then losing it is the means to develop the spiritual muscles of appreciating G-d.

Aside: I really like the idea of developing ‘spiritual muscles’

How is it that the Jews had water while they were wandering in the desert? It was Miriam! Miriam’s Well is the name of the spring that miraculously provided water during the 40 years of wandering. Wait, what? A spring in the desert? And it followed them? According to the midrash, the ‘well’ was actually a very porous rock; it rolled alongside them and whenever they stopped to encamp, the rock would dig itself into the sand. The leaders would stand near the rock and command ‘Rise up, oh well.’  Other commentators posit that it wasn’t a rock at all which travelled with them, but the stream from the rock would just miraculously reappear at each new location.

The other strong symbol of life in Chukat is the red heifer. Mention of the red heifer is very early in the parshah. God says to Moses and Aaron that the Children of Israel should find “…a perfectly red unblemished cow, upon which no yoke was laid.’ Red – the color of blood – symbolizes life, and this heifer has never had to endure the burden of work. And what is done with this wonderous red heifer? It is slaughtered and reduced to ashes. And then the ashes are to be mixed with water… and from water comes new life. So in just a few versus of Torah, we are presented with an image of pure life and then is it over, representing the fragility of our lives. But mixing the ashes with water brings new life, representing the renewing character of water.

Indeed, within this parshah are also the laws about coming into contact with death and how that makes you tamei (unclean). In each of the instructions, there is water as part of the cleansing. And this practiced is maintained today when you return from a cemetery, you wash.

Water is thus essential for life and important at the end of life. No wonder the Children of Israel were so distraught when Miriam died. As long as Miriam lived, the water was available along their journeys. When she dies, in Chukat, the well dries up and the people are dying of thirst. They moan to Moses and Aaron, bitterly complaining about their thirst. Moses and Aaron seek guidance from God and are told to approach this rock and speak to it, whereby water will flow from it.

Um – which rock exactly? There are so many…

Moses and Aaron assembled the congregation in front of the rock, and he said to them, “Now listen, you rebels, can we draw water for you from this rock?”

This rock? The people are thinking – what do we care which rock brings water… we just need water.

And instead of speaking to it, Moses strikes it! A few, meager drops spill forth, hardly enough to satisfy any one person’s thirst let alone the masses. So, Moses strikes the rock again and now the water pours abundantly.

This scenario reeks of anger and impatience. How is it that Moses, a chosen leader, is now speaking harshly to the people and also disobeying God’s instruction? Moses IS angry and impatient with the people; calling them rebels is his response to their incessant crying about being thirsty and also their ungrateful behavior. But leaders are supposed to be calm and rational and lead by example, right? Think about it – Miriam has just died. Moses has to carry-on in his capacity as a leader and his personal emotions are probably right at the surface. When did he get a chance to grieve the loss of his sister? Who is comforting Moses and Aaron with their loss?

Humans are a mixture of reason and passion; sometimes grief and exhaustion contribute to mistakes by those who are normally calm and solid. Commentators explain that calling the people rebels, not acknowledging the role of God in bringing forth water, and striking the rock instead of speaking to it as instructed, comprises Moses’ sin and the reason that Moses was doomed to die in the desert not reaching the Promised Land. What should we learn from this? First, there is no life without error; everyone has some shortcoming and yet our lives are meaningful. And secondly, just as you should not get behind the wheel of a car when you are angry, we probably should not function as leaders when we are overwhelmed with emotion.

Why did Moses strike the rock twice? Well, the first time didn’t produce the result he wanted and so he tried again. That’s the simple explanation… but of course we need to look deeper. I found this really great explanation on Chabad.org that striking the rock twice exemplifies two ways to perform acts of kindness. One way is for a person to give of themselves generously but deep down, the person is giving because they want recognition of their charitable nature; they are being kind as a means to boost their own reputation. This is represented by the meager drops of water. The other way for a person to perform acts of kindness is to give freely and generously because that is who they are – willing to sacrifice for others without recognition, and even if it causes some pain to themselves. In fact, with all of the instructions around purifying someone who has become ‘unclean’ there is often someone else helping.

The ritually clean person shall sprinkle on the unclean person on the third day and on the seventh day, and he shall cleanse him on the seventh day, and he shall wash his clothes and bathe in water, and he shall become ritually clean in the evening.

The ‘ritually clean person’ is sacrificing themselves to help the unclean person and they become unclean themselves. This generosity is the free flowing water as a result of the second striking.

And what is the ultimate generous gift… the one which cannot be repaid – participating in Chevra Kadisha to prepare the body for burial. And guess what? That ritual involves washing the body.

We have a Well of Traditions.

And what of the ‘actual’ well? Did it really dry up when Miriam died? The Talmud explains that

 “one who wants to see Miriam’s well… should do the following: He should climb to the top of Mount Carmel and look out

Emor means ‘speak’ in Hebrew and the parsha is focused on continuing to speak or lay out the laws for man. If we were reading the whole Torah portion, in the first Aliyah we would read about the qualities and behaviors of a Kohen. In the second Aliyah, we would learn how body blemishes and deformities disqualify the Kohen from performing priestly duties. In the third Aliyah, this restriction is extended to disqualify blemished animals from sacrificial use; this Aliyah also restricts animal sacrifice before they are eight days old and introduces the mitzvah of Kiddush Hashem (sanctifying God’s name). The fourth through sixth aliyot briefly mention Shabbat and then gives more specification of the obligations of Shabbat, Passover, Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, and Shemini Atzeret.  The seventh Aliyah focuses on the more frequent activities of kindling the Menorah (in the Temple), and arranging twelve ’showbreads’ on the Mishkan Table every Shabbat; the Torah portion concludes with a few additional laws about blasphemy, murder, and injury to others.

As we are reading only in the third cycle, we will start with the fifth Aliyah. I’m not going to go into depth on each of the aliyot but I do have a few comments to share on some of them.

In the first and second aliyot, we learn about the Kohen’s obligation to maintain a high level of ritual purity.

• A kohen may not become ritually impure through contact with a dead body
  • I learned about this rule during the year that Ron and I lived in Israel. I was working at Hebrew University and was taking a ride with coworkers from the campus at Mount Scopus to the campus at Ein Kerem. As we entered the parking lot at Ein Kerem and decided where we would enter the hospital, one of the guys asked me if I was a Kohen. I answered no, but had to ask why he questioned it. He wanted to use the entrance shortcut near the morgue.
• A kohen with a physical deformity cannot serve in the Holy Temple.
  • This law makes me uncomfortable… if humans are created in the image of the Lord, why exclude someone with some kind of deformity? And why does a deformity make one unfit to serve the community?
  • This kind of exclusion feels particularly contrary to today’s morality and in my research on trying to understand this constraint the best I could find is that this is an example of a paradox within the Torah that is meant to spur conversation and debate.
  • Is this the start of a conversation on how to treat those who have physical or mental limitations? Is this simply a warning or guidance on how to have special respect for the life and care of those who maybe are not wholly capable of caring for themselves?
  • It is incumbent upon us to struggle to find meaning for these paradoxes in every generation and to puzzle over the applicability in our own time.

Near the end of the fourth aliya, after the instruction for counting the Omer and the introduction to Shavuot, there is the guidance on leaving something for the poor after harvesting.

When you reap the harvest of your Land, you shall not completely remove the corner of your field during your harvesting, and you shall not gather up the gleanings of your harvest.

In parshat Terumah, Moses is given detailed instructions on how to construct this dwelling for God. The instructions address the need for the mishkan to be dismantled and portable, all in preparation for the journey across the desert. The instructions are VERY detailed, even to the specific dimensions. Is this whole parsha a blueprint? Yes, basically it is. BUT…

You could consider this as a recipe… perhaps a layered cake, filled with something yummy and then iced on top.

FIRST gather the ingredients (Aliyah 1):

The people of Israel are called upon to contribute specific materials—gold, silver and copper; blue-, purple- and red-dyed wool; flax, goat hair, animal skins, wood, olive oil, spices and gems.

God says to Moses, “They shall make for Me a Sanctuary, and I shall dwell amidst them.”

SECOND make the icing: Aliyah 2 describes the cover for the Ark which would hold the tablets.

The Ark, made of acacia wood, was to be covered with a slab of pure gold. Rings were to be attached to the corners of the Ark to facilitate the portability.

NEXT make the batter: Aliyot 3 and 4 describe the construction of the inside (sanctuary) of the mishkan.

The covering of the Sanctuary was to consist of several layers of tapestries. The first layer was to be a woven mixture of dyed wools and linen. The second layer was to be made of goat’s hair. These two oversized coverings also covered the outsides of the Tabernacle’s walls. The very top of the Tabernacle was then to be further covered by skins.

The Sanctuary’s three walls were fitted together from 48 upright wooden boards, each of which was overlaid with gold and held up by a pair of silver foundation sockets. The roof was formed of three layers of coverings…

THEN prepare the filling (Aliyah 5): Aliyah 5 describes building the inner sanctuary

The inner sanctuary was to consist of two sections: the innermost chamber was the Holy of Holies, wherein the Ark was to be placed; and the outer chamber was the Holy Chamber, which housed the Menorah and the Table. The two chambers were separated by a curtain which was to be woven of the dyed wools and linen.

LAST prepare the platter and presentation (Aliyot 6 and 7):

(6) God gave instructions for the construction of the Outdoor Altar. This altar was to be made of copper-plated acacia wood, and it was to have four “horns,” vertical projections, protruding from its uppermost corners. The altar, too, was equipped with rings and transportation poles.

(7) The Tabernacle courtyard design was also very specific with regard to size and orientation (entrance to the east, of course) and the entrance should be covered with a curtain made from the dyed wools and linen.

So… why did I include “the importance of thirteen” in the title of this dvar ? What does thirteen have to do with parshat Terumah?

If you recall, in Aliyah 1 When the people of Israel are called upon to contribute materials for the construction, they were told to bring thirteen specific materials – the gold, silver and copper; blue-, purple- and red-dyed wool; flax, goat hair, animal skins, wood, olive oil, spices and gems.

It caught my eye that there were 13 items (ingredients, if you will) … and you know, in Judaism, numbers must mean something. So, I started looking around for other mentions of Thirteen and I learned some fun things I wanted to share.

Let’s start with 2 obvious mentions of thirteen:

• Age of Bar Mitzvah when a boy officially ‘counts’ as a member of the Jewish people
• Thirteen Attributes of God

A little more digging and I found:

• Abraham entered into 13 covenants with God through the commandment of Brit Milah, the covenant of ritual circumcision that God gave him.
  • This is derived from the fact that the word brit, covenant, is repeated 13 times in the passages in which God commands Abraham to perform circumcision on himself and his children. Lech-Lecha (Genesis 17:1-21)
• In Gematria (Jewish numerology), both the words ahavah (love) and echad (one) equal 13.

Let’s explore that one a little more…

The gematria of echad – אחד is thirteen:
Aleph = 1, Chet = 8 and Daled = 4

The gematria of ahavah – אהבה is thirteen:
Aleph = 1, Hey = 5, Vet = 2, Hey = 5

Let’s go one more step and consider the Shema

Shema Yisrael. Adonoy Elohenu. Adonoy Echad.

If God is One (Adonoy = Echad = 13, and Ahavah = 13), then by the transitive property God is Love 😊

And as the Israelites built the mishkan to have God dwell with them, then God and Love dwells with each of us as well.

Shabbat Shalom

Sources and Inspiration:

https://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=226

https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/630275/jewish/Aliyah-Summary.htm

Last week Joel talked about Lech Lecha – go out, leave what is comfortable, go and make something of yourself. Become something perhaps you hadn’t even imagined a decade ago.

WHO are we becoming?

How do we describe ourselves? What labels do we wear?

Do you describe yourself by your job title or the type of work you do?

Doctor – Lawyer – Accountant – Consultant – Engineer – Student

If you ask a high school student to describe him or herself, you will likely hear what they are good at or their academic goals: I’m a good math student. I want to go to college to study law.

Or they may focus on their perceived flaws: I’m not very popular. I write well but I’m not good at science. I love to sing but I didn’t get the lead.

Do we left others define and describe us?

Oh, she’s smart!

He’s a good dancer.

She’s a good cook.

We have a bad habit of defining ourselves in terms of what is ‘normal’ or what is ‘expected’. Are we normal, better than normal, or not quite cutting it? We judge ourselves and we allow others to pass judgement on us.  And labels are too limiting to really reflect who we are becoming.

I recently read an article on Forbes.com where I found this excerpt:

We mention what we do, where we live, where we went to school. We describe ourselves in bullet points and keywords, instead of telling stories of our personal histories and victories. We rarely mention our core character traits, or even hint at our true personalities.

          You are not your job title

          You are not your real estate, nor your tax return.

          You are not your social media profile

          You are not a bullet point list of mistakes. Nor a bullet point list of your skills

You are not your proclaimed beliefs

Your actions tell your story far more convincingly

In Lech Lecha, Abram becomes Abraham. Sarai becomes Sarah.

They each got new names for goodness sake. It seems the perfect question to ask Abarham and Sarah ‘Who are you?’ but that is not what God asked.

In Vayera, God asks Abraham, ‘where are you?’

And it’s not even the first time God asks this question. In Beresheit, shortly after Adam and Eve have eaten from the Tree of Knowledge… God asks Adam, “Where are you?”

Adam doesn’t answer the question at hand.

And they heard the voice of the Lord God going in the garden to the direction of the sun, and the man and his wife hid from before the Lord God in the midst of the trees of the garden.                    

And the Lord God called to man, and He said to him, “Where are you?”               

And he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I am naked; so I hid.”       

And He said, “Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”                   י

And the man said, “The woman whom You gave