This parsha is like the Israelites getting married to G-d, with Moses creating and reading the pre-nuptial agreement aloud for everyone. The honeymoon will be their entry into the Promised Land. It’s the roadmap for the Israelites to achieve and live with joy, gratitude, and abundance by maintaining their fidelity to a covenant with G-d and Torah. Now miraculously, despite their many ups and downs, the Israelites have been enabled by Moses and directed by G-d to enter the Promised Land.

The Israelites are instructed that, upon entry into the land, they should express their gratitude to G-d for their bountiful harvests and freedom from slavery by tithing part of their crops for the Levite, and making another portion available to the stranger, the orphan and the widow.  Essentially, if the Israelites follow G-d’s mitzvot they will receive every imaginable blessing and if not—for example if, say, an idol is created—then a plethora of curses will follow them. 

Let’s look at the Biblical idea and act of gratitude, which is a recurring theme both in this week’s parsha and in those we’ve read during the last couple of weeks. The Biblical concept of gratitude requires that people acknowledge the goodness in their lives with the presumption that the source of that goodness exists, at least partially, outside of themselves. Being grateful helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals—say for example, other people, nature, or their Creator.

How many times in your life have you experienced a moment of gratitude for some miracle, moment, or experience? Some such moments might include the birth of a child, overcoming acute illness, living with a chronic illness, or achieving personal success in academics, in your career, or in your personal life. Hopefully, we have all been lucky enough to experience many such instances. Hopefully, we have realized how lucky we are in those moments and have felt a sense of gratitude for our good fortune.

Beyond that recognition, how often, in your gratitude, have you been aware of the fact that it was not only your own personal will and hard work that facilitated these moments but also the spiritual, emotional, and physical support from family, friends, and community? And how often did you express that gratitude—not just in words, but also through some sort of act that allowed you to share some portion of your success with the community that supported you?

How often do we remember, and express gratitude for what we view as purely personal achievements? How often do we remember to reflect and demonstrate the gratitude for the personal experiences that contributed toward our success and helped us get to where we are today? Sometimes even today we need a reminder to be grateful to G-d and grateful to others. Sometimes we forget to appreciate ourselves as well as those who helped us during our journeys. That is one reason our ancestors offered sacrifices, which were used to exemplify gratitude and appreciation to G-d back in the day. 

This week’s parasha, Ki Tavo, commands a farmer to tithe his first fruits to G-d and then to share his bounty with the community in order to express his gratitude. But our own moments of gratitude may not be for experiences that produce such tangible results, though the outcomes may have provided more for our lives and those of others. What would be the equivalent today, for those of us who are not farmers? How can we give back the product of our work to our Creator and to the people of our community?

Outside of our high holidays and festivals, our daily prayers during Shacharit, Mincha, Maariv, Ne’ila, and Musaf offer the opportunity to get closer to G-d, ask for blessings, forgiveness, share our gratitude, appreciation, and thankfulness. For some of the spiritual among us, in addition to asking for redemption, we may also consider asking for guidance, hope, clarity, compassion, and for a good day or week ahead. We may also consider making charitable contributions as a way of giving back to the community. As Rosh HaShana approaches, we may all might consider how, through our actions, we can “be inscribed” for a better year than the one we’ve just had—even if this past year has been good.

Giving thanks along with demonstrating gratitude and appreciation can make us healthier, happier and can improve our relationships. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. The act of gratitude grows with practice.

So, today, let me be the first to say how thankful and grateful I am to be able to prepare and have my divrei Torah shared (or share them when I am able…) with our Kehillah.  We are blessed to be a part of a community of caring and thoughtful individuals that make prayer on Shabbos and holidays a meaningful spiritual experience. If I have done anything to offend anyone this past year (other than my inability to be present or say speaking too much…) please forgive me. Shana Tova and may you all be inscribed for a year ahead with good health.  Thank y’all and good Shabbos!

In this Torah portion, Moses continues his speech to the Israelites. He tells them they will have to annihilate people who are not believers in God. Moses reminds them not to forget God’s commandments even after they enter the land of Israel, and that they must continue to fear God. The Torah portion also mentions the second part of the Shema: “…(we should) serve G-d with all y(our) heart & all y(our) soul”. 

Following the ‘respectful Shema reminder’ to the Israelites, Moses emphasizes the need to put all that we have into serving God by directing the Israelites to ‘circumcise their hearts’.  Of course, this is a metaphorical rather than a literal request, reminding the Israelites of their part in the divine-human covenant which mandates fidelity and exclusivity in the relationship between God and the Chosen People.

The underlying message here is that the Israelites should maintain their vulnerability to & awe of God by opening their hearts to a spiritual connection with the Divine – but that they should not be opening their hearts to the gods worshiped by those around them. Moses reminds the Israelites of this obligation through specific directives that will help them to avoid the temptation to join in the practices of idol worshippers in the land they are about to conquer whom God calls “an abomination upon the land,” and who are to be “wiped out” by the Israelites upon their entry into the “Land of Milk & Honey.”

It is quite likely that many Israelites did hold doubts within their hearts regarding what would occur upon their entry into the promised land. Many of them probably needed to strengthen their beliefs in the existence of only one God. Moses understood this and helps them by rebuking and reminding them of their parents and grandparents past failings as a people – from their creation of a Golden calf after Moses disappears upon Mount Sinai for 40 days and nights – to their doubts about God’s ability to enable them to stand strong against the people of the land, put out by 10 of the 12 advance scouts sent to “spy out the land. And then, of course, the was the constant complaining by all of the Israelites during their desert travels – complaints about thirst, hunger, and their longing for better living conditions, all the while nagging Moses with that timeless question of traveling children everywhere: “Are we there yet?”

In doing this, Moses was explaining to this new generation of Israelites about their nation’s shared purpose: to be faithful to the one God who created the universe and to follow the teachings of God’s Torah – the two most important elements of our Jewish culture. Of course, for most of these younger Israelites, who had not been present at the giving of the 10 Commandments, this was the first time they were hearing about these concepts and ideals in any organized fashion. These beliefs were ones that had to be learned, practiced, and reinforced with each new generation during their travels since they were an evolving community that would now have to make its new home in Israel after 40 years of wandering around the Sinai dessert.

With the new Jewish year almost upon us once again, perhaps this is a good time for all of us to consider ways that we can continue to grow and expand in our Jewish beliefs, purpose, values, and practices. For example:  Can we add the Shabbat candle blessings to our weekly Jewish practices?  Is there an opportunity to learn and read a Torah portion or to lead the Torah service?  Where and how can we give back to our larger Jewish – and non-Jewish – community? 

While this is a brief list to consider for the new year, at least it’s a start in thinking about way to give thanks for everything we’ve achieved while demonstrating our appreciation and respect for our community, our cultural heritage, and, of course, our Creator.

Shabbat Shalom!

By Michael Carr

After 40 years of journeying through the desert, the people of Israel arrive in the wilderness of Zin. After Miriam dies, there is no more water and the people become thirsty. God tells Moses to speak to a rock and command it to give water. Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly of people together in front of the rock, and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels! Must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. But God said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”

Why did this happen? Moses was a leader, and a leader must be a role model. The anger Moses expressed would be common for most people. However, for a person of Moses’ stature it was unacceptable. Aside from the anger itself, Moses’ tone at the rock set a poor example for this younger generation who looked up to him for guidance and for a moral example. That is why Moses was punished so heavily for a failure that might have been more lightly punished in some one less exalted. Maimonides said by losing his temper, Moses failed to respect the people and might have demoralized them. This one moment of anger was sufficient to deprive Moses of the reward of seeing the culmination of his work by leading the people across the Jordan and into the Promised Land. In letting his anger control him, Moses gained nothing but an expression of his bad temper; he lost his entire future.

Maimonides also said that we must avoid anger under any circumstance and must go to the opposite extreme. Even when anger is justified, we must avoid it. There may be times when it is necessary to look as if we are angry. But when we outwardly display anger, inwardly, we should be calm.

The Sages were outspoken in their critique of anger. They would have approved of the modern concept of anger management. They did not like anger at all and reserved some of their sharpest language to describe it. “The life of those who can’t control their anger is not a life”, said the Sages. Reish Lakish said, “When a person becomes angry, if he is a sage, his wisdom departs from him; if he is a prophet, his prophecy departs from him.”

Pirkei Avot asks the question: Who is strong? The answer given is that a strong person is one who can control himself or herself, is slow to anger, and is able to master his or her own spirit.

The Orchot Tzaddikim notes that anger destroys personal relationships. Short-tempered people scare others, so others avoid coming close to them. Anger drives out the positive emotions of forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and sensitivity. The result is an irascible person who ends up lonely, shunned, and disappointed.

Despite the above references, anger is usually a completely normal, healthy human emotion. However, when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems – problems at work, in one’s personal relationships, and in the overall quality of one’s life.

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often belligerent feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary for our survival.

However, if we are dealing with ongoing frustrations at work, the loss of someone close to us, financial worries, family issues, or other sources of tension, then instead of getting angry, it is better to address the deeper issue. Anger is dangerous in those circumstances because it causes us to lose control. While in the grip of a hot temper, we lose the ability to step back and evaluate the possible consequences of our action. The result is that in a moment of ire, we can do or say things we may regret for the rest of our lives.

Often, anger builds because we do not immediately address the problem. What might have begun as a very minor issue becomes a major one in our minds, ultimately causing us to explode in rage and act inappropriately. The best approach in the case of these minor issues that anger us is to try and address the situation as quickly and as constructively as possible, and then to let the anger go.

Another way to deal with anger might be the mental approach of cognitive restructuring. Simply put, this means changing the way we think about an event so as to change our feelings about it. When we are angry, our feelings can displace our rationality, which leads us to magnify our hurts and their causes, until our memory of the event becomes less factual and, occasionally, dramatically exaggerated. But, if we choose to do so, we can analyze the circumstances causing our anger logically, which can help us replace our instinctive, emotional reactions with more rational ones. We can do a reality check with others to see if our memories match the facts of the event; then we can evaluate whether our reactions were proportional to those facts. Logical analysis eventually will overcome our anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, quickly becomes irrational and difficult to uphold.

Once logic has had its say, how can we further manage our anger and avoid projecting our emotions onto others?

First, we can start by acknowledging our behavior and the need for a positive change. We need to be true to ourselves and to release any issues from the past so we can try to move forward anew with a fresh and positive outlook. Holding on to past anger and resentment prevents personal change and positive interactions from occurring in the future.

Next, we need to get tuned in to ourselves, so we are aware of our reactions and communication when speaking. If we are upset or feeling the escalation of emotions which precedes an aggressively angry reaction, we can give ourselves permission to step away from the situation to collect our thoughts so we can continue the conversation in a productive manner. Once our emotions are more under our control we can choose how best to proceed.

If those techniques don’t help, we can try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or counting to 10 before speaking. Most important: when speaking with someone about a conflict or difficult issue, we need to do our best to express our feelings without being confrontational. We need to be aware of the triggers that might incite others’ anger as well as our own. We should do our best to minimize outside forms of stress, since stress often aggravates a person’s feelings of aggression and anger.

Angry people tend to jump to conclusions and to take actions based on those conclusions even though the assumptions they have made can be inaccurate. The first thing we need to do if we are in a heated discussion is to listen carefully to what the other person is saying and try to understand the other person’s perspective before answering. We need to slow ourselves down and think through our responses rather than saying the first thing that comes into our heads.

Above all, in learning to manage our own anger, we need to find reasons to feel good about ourselves and ways to value ourselves. We need to be compassionate with ourselves and to learn from our past difficulties rather than dwelling on them and allowing them to consume us and affect our self-esteem. After that, we will be able to use that same compassion in dealing with those who cause us anger.

Remember: We cannot eliminate our anger and it probably would not be a good idea to do so even if we could. In spite of all our efforts, things will happen in life that will provoke our anger. In some cases that anger will be entirely justifiable. Life inevitably includes frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. We can’t change that; but we can change the way we let such events affect us. Managing our angry responses in a productive fashion can prevent our anger from making us even more unhappy in the long run. The antidote to anger is patience.

Moses’ angry response to the Israelites’ complaints, and the consequences of that reaction in this week’s parsha, teaches us the importance of stepping away and putting some space between us and any pressurized situation we may be dealing with.

Living a moral Jewish life requires that we grapple with our anger but never let it win. The directive of Judaism in this case is simple: Either we defeat anger or anger will defeat us. Just ask Moses.

In this week’s parasha, Sh’lach, which means “send,” God commands Moses to send 12 men to “spy out” the Promised Land before the Israelites enter into battle for its possession.

As explained in the parasha, the results of this expedition were less than remarkable for at least ten of the spies. Those spies saw only the dangers of entering the land of Canaan and described these dangers in such frightening terms that they demoralized the entire Israelite nation. It was not their finest hour. In fact, one might say that these ten men not only lacked the qualities needed for inspirational leadership but also lacked faith in God. 

Of the 12 spies that God sent to scout out the land, only two men—Caleb the son of Yefuneh and Joshua the son of Nun—had faith in the vision that God had laid out before the Israelites. The other ten incite a riot and a rebellion among the Israelites. As a consequence for leading the Israelites astray, God sends a plague to kill the ten spies who lacked faith. Caleb and Joshua are the only spies left standing.

Because of the ten spies’ success in demoralizing the Israelites, undermining their faith in God’s promise, and inciting them to rebel, God condemns that entire generation to wander in the desert for 40 years—long enough for all of the men who were 20 years and older to die in the desert and the next generation of men—those younger than 20 years of age at the time of the spies’ actions—to grow up and mature to an age when they can enter the Promised Land and fight for Abraham’s legacy. Forty years hence, when the Israelites finally enter the land, Joshua and Caleb will be the only men left from that generation. In fact, God selects Joshua as Moses’ successor and the one who will, ultimately, lead them into the Promised Land and into battle against the Canaanite tribes.

It’s a shame that those 10 spies did not realize that their mission to “spy out the land” was actually a test of faith. For me the message of this parasha is about the kind of internal beliefs that lead to the kind of confident, deliberate, and strategic decision-making process one needs to engage in when evaluating the ratio of risks to reward in any undertaking. But when the undertaking is one ordered by God, surely one can assume that the scales will be tipped in one’s favor.

It’s a shame that the Israelites couldn’t have consulted with Dwight Eisenhower, who could have shared his wartime insights with them. Eisenhower famously said, “In preparing for battle, I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” The kind of planning Eisenhower advocated could have helped those spies feel much more confident in their abilities to achieve the desired outcome. Instead, because of the doubts the 10 spies instilled, the Israelites never got to the planning stages and the two remaining spies, who had faith in God’s plan, were unable to cut through the noise generated by fear in order to lead through inspiration. Sometimes simply asking a question amongst a group of people is all that one needs to change a crowd’s focus from the negative to the positive. 

Like – How can we make this land of milk and honey OUR society?

• A society that is a safe and healthy one, where our people will be treated not as slaves but instead with humanity, dignity and respect.
• A society without petulant, autocratic rulers, but one which is governed through laws that are fairly administered to all.

Rather than believing that God would lead the Israelites to victory so they could enact God’s vision for creating a just human society through equality-based economic, social, and legal systems, the first 10 spies panicked upon seeing the height and breadth of the Canaanites’ physiques. Some of the spies stated that the Israelites were like grasshoppers next to the overwhelmingly large Canaanite men. In their terror they forgot all about God’s promises and focused instead on their fears their own demise because of the risks associated with taking over the Canaanite land.

What a paradox! The ten spies were so terrified of the Canaanite nation they forgot that the “word on the street” was that all the other nations should fear the Israelites because their God was so powerful they were able to escape and outrun the mighty kingdom of Egypt.

From our perspective, it seems quite obvious that the entire spy situation was a test to validate the Israelites’ fidelity to God. For if the Israelites had truly believed in God they would not have been swayed by the alarming report their ten spies had brought back regarding Canaan’s inhabitants. Right? They would have remembered that it was their God who cast plagues upon Egypt and helped Moses negotiate their exit plan and ultimate emancipation from Egypt.

For me this parasha is both about the way a lack of thoughtful, positive, and inspired leadership leaves a vacuum that is often filled by the loudest, but not necessarily the wisest voice. It’s also an example of the way that fear, when exposed to negative beliefs, can influence a population into believing the worst. By describing the Canaanite men as superhuman giants and saying that the Israelites had no hope of defeating them, the ten spies magnified the Israelites’ natural apprehensions regarding going into battle into an all-encompassing fear that surpassed their memory of God redeeming them from Egypt.

Imagine how different the Israelites’ reaction would have been—even if those ten spies had given them exactly the same information—if only those spies had ended their report by saying something like: “But with God’s help we can figure out a strategy that will allow us to defeat them, so there is no reason to fear.”

Of course, Caleb and Joshua, the two spies who stood in opposition to those ten tried to say exactly that but, by then, the Israelites had already been whipped into a panic and so their calming words went unheard.

A favorite TED Talk of mine is Simon Sinek’s How Great Leader’s Inspire Action. Sinek states that leaders hold positions of  power or authority, however, we all have the choice to seek out inspired leaders or organizations that cause us to follow—not because we have to but because we want to. 

We follow inspired leaders not for them – but for ourselves. It is up to us to choose ones that inspire us to overcome our fears rather than those who encourage us to succumb to them.

Good Shabbos!

In today’s parasha Moses asks G-d  to give the Israelites divinity, vision, and insight into the future. Moses was given a ‘gift’ that made it easier for the Israelites to understand the message of Torah. In turn this provided more time to live Torah rather than learning how to read.

G-d intended for all Israelites to hear or listen to the words of Torah and live the commandments.  The first word of the parasha is “re’eh,” which means “look” and derives from the Hebrew verb root for “see” (spelled: “resh,” “aleph,” “hey”). This root is used in conjugated form 175 times in the Torah and more than 400 times in the Tanach, which points its importance in understanding how we are to live a ‘Torah life’.

Although the word “re’eh” is translated here as “see”, we can interpret re’eh as referring to more than the physical act of seeing. It’s also about listening to the Torah’s commandments, understanding them, and following them correctly so that we can live a full Jewish life according to the Torah’s laws.

Understanding Torah and its many messages can be tough – simply ask one of our Torah readers. Sometimes assuring people are listening to the meaning of your d’var torah can be equally challenging.  In my brief experience of studying Gemara, mixed messages and meanings often result in confusion, leading to ‘lively’ discussions.

So it was during the period when Torah was given to the Jews. At the time, not many people could actually read the Torah let alone understand or correctly interpret its laws—hence the establishment of advisory bodies of wise men, like the Sanhedrin.

When public readings of the Torah began, it was actually read aloud to all by the few who knew how to read. Supposedly, the chanting of the Torah began with Ezra the Scribe back in 547 CE. To get the attention of Jews so they would listen to the Torah portions, a melody was added to the words.

When speaking with others or writing & reading a d’var torah, it helps to create an emotional message to get an emotional response. Will it make the audience or individuals you communicate with laugh or cry?  Will they feel anger, confusion or simply accept the message?

This reminds me of the Maya Angelou quote: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

God and Moses had a desire for the Israelite people to see, hear, and understand what was being said in giving the Torah laws. But what they really, really, wanted was to assure that the people were tuned into the mitzvot of Torah and were living life according to its mitzvot.

The Israelites heard the laws and recognized that their future would be better based on following commandments for living an abundant life of Torah. They connected emotionally with what they heard.

Perhaps this is why the phrases we use today, such as mazal tov, yishar koach and baruch t’hiyeh have evolved: to acknowledge both what we heard and how it made us feel.

So, no need to take notes. Build on what you have heard by making it your own. Offer an emotional response or acknowledgement for the messages received.

English poet and author, Henry Shukman captured this idea in this quote: “When you listen and look deeply, you find beauty. Beauty that can last beyond a moment. It is through attention to the world, to each other that we come truly alive.”  

Good Shabbos!

Ki Tisa- Cracks of Light                                          Michael Carr               03/11/2023

It’s been said that we don’t see things as ‘they are’; we see things as ‘we are’ because we see reality through our emotional history.

Each of us experiences emotional sensory situations differently when we read, listen, or taste. These sensations may evoke pleasure, pain, distaste- well you get the idea. Yet it is what was seen at Mt Sinai, according to author Sarah Gershman, often that has the greatest impact upon our emotions as described in Parsha Ki Tisa.

40 days beyond the Israelites exodus from Egypt and that storm cloud on Sinai where G-d speaks to Moses and the Israelites, Moses meets up with G-d. The people eventually grew restless and impatient in the desert following their adventurous entrance to freedom. They were filled with uncertainty about their future and did not know if Moses would return from his meeting. He had already been up there for days, and it is said he was running late by about a day.

Sure there was this G-d that freed them from hard labor and unhealthy conditions they experienced over centuries. There was really no one telling them what to do now. They had time on their hands. No one had told them what structures to build and how/where and when to build them. Nor what crops required harvesting or planting. They were unsettled with very little direction in their lives.

But who was this ‘G-d of freedom’? They believed their Egyptian G-ds and idols provided comfort, guidance and safety. As slaves, their beliefs shaped the world that they saw. Now, through their new life reality, it seemed their lives lacked clarity and direction. They were learning to believe in a completely new life and new world.

Would this G-d do the same? This G-d did get them out from under Egyptian rule. And where was Moses? What the heck was he doing up on the mountain with this G-d and why was he late in returning?

Lots of uncertainty and waiting around for the ‘next move’. After all, Moses had not shown up when he said he would (not that there were any sophisticated time pieces other than the sun, moon and stars).

Perhaps like a baby or young child, the Israelites had ‘separation anxiety’. Yep – separation from Egypt, separation from Moses and maybe also, separation from this ‘G-d of freedom’.

In-spite of G-d’s commandment to have no other G-ds, and no sculptured likenesses or images, infidelity and yes the pull of idolatry get’s the better of them but again, supposedly not as a replacement for G-d, as Gershman explains. The replacement is a ‘place-holder’ for Moses.

Absent anxiety meds, a good novel, binge watching a Hulu series or exploring social media feeds, Aaron (talk about forgiveness – remember he’s destined to be the future high priest – Cohen Gadol) gets pulled into melting everyone’s gold earrings and creating a golden calf for the people.

The recently freed Israelites had been missing a reference point and certainly missing what had been familiar for 400 years. They demonstrated no restraint.  Once again, they saw a symbol and were able to find joy in a golden calf that in their minds provided soothing comfort – like alcohol for an alcoholic or drugs for the addicted.  What was their purpose?

As Yogi Berra would say, ‘it’s deja vu all over again’, that is for G-d. He obviously sees what’s happening below in Sinai, becomes furious and tells Moses it’s time to start all over again – ala Noah and his Ark.

Of course Moses is not yet able to see what G-d has already taken in. He pleads with G-d to help G-d understand that decimating the Israelites and ‘starting over’ is not the answer to getting things straightened out and perhaps getting a written solution for this mistake is the better direction.

Moses with divine tablets in hand crafted by G-d heads back down. Except of course sees the atrocity of the golden calf and the joy of the Israelites on his way down. Moses smashes the tablets (that is—the covenant between G-d and the Jewish people) to the ground.

So G-d invites Moses back up and commands him to carve new tablets for the Jewish people with the same words that were on the first set. That is the words of G-d that Moses inscribes.  To me this symbolizes Moses repairing the relationship (the covenant) between G-d and the Jewish people after one of the most egregious mistakes the Jewish people could make early on following their flight to freedom.

It is written that the broken tablets are not discarded and instead are carried by the Israelites through the period of 40 years of desert wandering.  Broken-ness is normal—nothing to shy away from or hide from. It’s part of our life story; it’s what makes us who we are.  The expectation was not and still is not perfection.

We can strive for improvement and aspire to be better human beings. Improve our relationships with each other, the world and G-d.  This message is captured in Leonard Cohen’s song Anthem: 

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in….”

Shabbat Shalom!

This week’s Parsha includes the final three plagues that G-D created for the benefit of the Israelites and imposed upon Pharaoh to let the Israelite Slaves go. As we know Pharaoh was opposed to any meaningful changes in the kingdom.

In fact we read year after year in the Torah and during Pesach about the terrible person this Pharaoh was and how he imposed harsh work upon the Israelite slaves without a purpose for good. It’s easy to see how his hubris got in the way of making the right decision to let go of the slaves after the first plague. Perhaps Pharaoh was simply a flawed human being.

Pharaoh’s ‘ego’ affliction can also be found within historically costly examples such as those inflicted upon George III’ loss of the British Colonies as well as the United States consistent and persistent mistakes in Vietnam.

Back to our D’var. Following the plague of locusts, Pharaoh, failed to listen to his advisors when they shared with him that the plagues had ruined and continued to deteriorate the ‘livable’ conditions in the Egyptian empire (can you imagine what a battlefield the Pharaoh’s palace and kingdom must have looked like following the fireballs of hail alone?)

In Exodus 10:7 Pharaoh’s advisors ‘plead’ with him to “…Let the people go, so that they may worship the Lord their G-d.” And they say further, “Do you not yet realize that Egypt is ruined?”  The ‘plague warnings’ were ignored by Pharaoh and he would not capitulate over the freedom for the Israelite slaves.

While Pharaoh may have thought his advisors were weak and simply fearful, Pharaoh himself did not ‘see’ nor believe the world (his world) had changed and that his challenges were completely different than when and where he had started from. The truth was that enslavement of Israelites and subsequent plagues had made life in Egypt intolerable and it was a time to move forward.

What can we take away from parsha Bo? While no one wants to give Pharaoh a pass for the indecency and inhumanity of his rule, it is clear that leadership is not easy. Acknowledging that circumstances have changed and how to respond as well as knowing how to listen to advice and when to admit to yourself and others that you’ve got it wrong are a few of the challenges that come with leadership.

Juxtapose this with ‘Joseph’s Pharaoh’, Zaphnath-Paaneah, from Genesis, who heard Joseph’s prescient message of doom. Remember our D’var from a month or so ago? It was based on the dreams of the gaunt cows that emerged from the water. That Pharaoh decided to listen to a formerly imprisoned advisor whom ultimately he made his number two wingman. Together they decided to gather and store grain for the kingdom to avoid famine.

G-d knew that Pharaoh was obstinate which is why he told Aaron and Moses to “Bo el-Paro: come to Pharaoh”. The purpose was to be very clear with Pharaoh that it was not up to Moses and Aaron to impose the plagues. G-d created the plagues to ‘shake Pharaoh’ and demonstrate a  ‘bigger more powerful presence’ over all of Egypt.

This parsha should remind us of beliefs and values of being present, finding gratitude and how considering others can make change easier for moving forward in our lives.

Good Shabbos!

Parsha Vaera brings to mind the idea of FUD. It’s the acronym for fear, uncertainty and doubt. This idea was probably more pervasive than ‘hope’ for getting the Israelite slaves out of Egypt. 

Fear of a autocratic and stubborn pharaoh who imposed his autocratic rule daily created uncertainty and doubt about a meaningful life for Israelite slaves. The Israelite slaves lived with fear everyday uncertain of punishments to be imposed upon them by Pharaohs minions. Of course doubt for all Israelite slaves was never in short supply.

Pharaoh did not consider uncertainty because he did not believe that there was anything to fear over his rule of law and order. In fact he probably believed he was mightier than a supposed G-d who wanted him to free all Israelite slaves. He perhaps saw his entire life as dictator over Egypt as HIS freedom. Janis Joplin said it best, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose…”.  Though as we know from that prolific part-time psychologist Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”

Vaera also presents us with information about Moses’ older brother Aaron – who might be referred to as ‘the wingman’.

Through his relationship with and belief in THE one G-d, Moses actually became a fearless leader and prophet.  His uncertainty and doubt were evident however when it came to his stutter. Why would anyone including Pharaoh or the Israelite slaves, listen to a leader that could not express himself clearly?

There are at least 5 moments where Moses expresses his uncertainty and doubt to G-d about his in-ablity to lead the Israelites to freedom and essentially is asking G-d for a pass:

‘I’m not good enough’ – “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” -Exodus 3:11

‘I don’t have all the answers’ – “Then Moses said to G-d, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The G-d of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?” -Exodus 3:13 

‘People won’t believe me’ –“Then Moses answered and said, “But suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice; suppose they say, ‘G-d has not appeared to you.’ ” -Exodus 4:1  

‘I’m a terrible public speaker’ – “Then Moses said to G-d, “….I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” -Exodus 4:10 

‘Anyone but me’ (I’m not qualified) – “…please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.” -Exodus 4:13   

The final statement in Deuteronomy is ‘there would never be another prophet like Moses’. It sums up a widely held belief that indeed he was unlike other prophets that came before or after his legacy.

Also consider:

-Moses spoke with G-d more than any other person in Jewish history.
-Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and into freedom.
-Moses receives the 10 commandments (published & is later world- wide distributed as the “5 books of Moses”) on Mount Sinai. So why in today’s parsha Vaera does Aaron carry out G-d’s first three plagues upon Pharaoh and Egypt: blood, frogs and lice?

Similar to Moses, Aaron did not think he was worthy and was uncertain of imposing G-d’s harsh penalties upon Pharaoh. He did not have the same relationship with G-d that Moses did however he did respect and believe in the ‘one G-d’.

Can any of us imagine persuading a guy (Pharaoh) who was referred to as ‘Lord of the Two Lands’ (ruler of Upper and Lower Egypt) because he alone owned all of the land, made laws, collected taxes, and defended Egypt against foreigners to let our people go?

A daunting task for sure! 

In your lifetime have YOU ever doubted yourself in spite of your knowledge, skills or support network? Have you ever had fear of the unknown enough to honestly express your uncertainties?

It was an uncertain time for everyone – including of course the Israelite slaves.

The ability to persuade Israelite slaves of the belief in one G-d was perhaps more important to G-d than persuading Pharaoh of G-d’s power as we read further in Exodus. So how did the majority of the slaves overcome their doubts?

It was a collaborative team effort with G-d, Moses and Aaron that began with Aaron engaging the Pharaoh and being told ‘no- I will not let your people go’. The rest as they say is, well, history.

Inspiration can come from many places to help us overcome our fear, uncertainty and doubts. Sometimes we may need to reach out to those who have information, experience and beliefs that can ‘get the ball rolling’. 

Finally, one might say that the ‘right persistence’ ultimately set us free…
Good Shabbos!

If we zoom out for a moment on Genesis there are any number of injustices that highlight the first book of Torah.  For example: Cain kills Abel and walks; Lots daughters rape their father; Abraham lies about his wife twice, attempts to sacrifice his son, and becomes a patriarch; Jacob deceives his own family members and becomes the father of a nation; and Tamar acts like a prostitute, sleeps with her father-in-law Judah, and becomes the progenitor of David! Oh my – kind of draws one in and makes you want to ‘tune in’ for upcoming episodes.

Heading back down to earth and zooming back in on today’s parsha we find that Joseph frames his forgiveness (not revenge) of his brothers as G-d’s plan. It’s a plan of evolution to save Jacob’s family as well as future generations of Israelites. Joseph, in spite of his brothers jealousy, (remember, they thought Joseph was THE favored son of Jacob), the plan was actually put into motion by G-d to save Joseph,  his brothers, the entire extended family of Jacob and future generations of Israelites.

What hidden meaning can we discover beneath all of this drama? Perhaps it’s that many of the patriarchs, matriarchs and prophets were imperfect and flawed humans. Sometimes they found justice through the injustices of the day. Such is the case with Joseph.

In Vayigash, it is noted that Joseph is second in command of Egypt under Pharaoh and he believes that one of his many purposes where G-d directs him is saving lives.  Of course there’s nothing unjust about that.  The dream sequence alone that caused his ascendance foretold the prophecy of what was to come.

As we know Joseph, with the support of Pharaoh, also reconciles with his brothers and ultimately reconnects with his dad Jacob. In fact, at the direction of Joseph, Jacob gets all 70 family members together, and moves to Egypt.  The family reunites, settles in Goshen, the Children of Israel flourish, until, slavery envelopes the Israelites and it’s time to leave again. But hold on…what may have transpired under Joseph during his time with the Pharaoh possibly whose name was Sesostris II?

We find out, to Josephs credit, he advises Pharaoh to take one-fifth of the harvest during the seven years of abundance and let that food be a reserve for the land for the seven years of famine that was to follow.

Historically, it is also mentioned in Genesis that during the seven years of abundance the harvest was so plentiful that what Joseph collected was too much to be measured. Joseph used the reserve to feed the people during the seven years of famine.

Unfortunately, at the end of the famine Joseph’s economic policy led to  acquiring the people and their land for Pharaoh. Some accounts indicate the Egyptians became slaves to Pharaoh while other historical interpretations indicate the Egyptians become Serphs so they would not be a burden upon the Pharaoh’s coffers or tills, and subsequently, Pharaoh would continue to collect one-fifth of their produce going forward.

Why wouldn’t this appear to be a perfect solution?  The Egyptians were thankful for Pharaoh saving their lives and they were willing to voluntarily give up (or sell) their land and become indentured servants to Pharaoh in appreciation/gratitude for their salvation. This is a somewhat ominous foretelling of course for what was to come for the Egyptians and Israelites under a new Pharaoh who did not know of Joseph.

Turning to the community in Goshen, we can assume that Jacob and his family were fruitful and multiplying, while enjoying land ownership and the crops/livestock that they raised. That is until the new Pharaoh (Ramses II) took over and we have a good idea on what follows.

While there is much to ‘unpack’ here both economically, politically and spiritually, for Joseph, we can only assume this was not a perfect solution, though certainly a sustainable solution guided by G-d and endorsed by Pharaoh on behalf of Egyptian society. 

Let’s remember that Joseph started out as a herdsman of sheep or cattle. He was not seeking perfection of his ‘art’ like an air traffic controller, cardio vascular surgeon or a mach one race car driver. Heck he was counting sheep (or cattle). And as viceroy of Egypt he was focused on saving Egyptian society while building a just and verdant Israelite future under the direction of G-d while leveraging Pharaoh’s capital.  Wholeness – not perfection.

Seth Godin states that, “Truly perfect is becoming friendly with your imperfections on the way to doing something remarkable”. Perhaps like saving lives and achieving ‘wholeness’.

Good Shabbos!

One of the many stories in Bereshit is that of Adam and Eve. In particular it is the shame that Adam and Eve experience upon eating the forbidden fruit. Rabbi Manis Friedman, co-author of “Living a Life that Matters” relates Adam and Eve’s emotional response to these three aspects of shame: 1) humility, embarrassment and guilt.

Following the deed of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, Adam and Eve experience the feeling of humility, the first of three parts of shame. This was distinguished by their awe of and bifurcation from G-d.  The almighty G-d was a much larger, omnipotent and universal, presence than Adam and Eve which created a foundation of humbleness and resulted in a ‘spiritual separation’ from G-d.

The second aspect of shame, their feeling of embarrassment due to exposure, was uncomfortable and resulted in vulnerability and fear causing them to seek out ‘fig leaf gear’.  Let us also remember that thousands of years later the Talmud would set the record straight about the act of embarrassment towards others as the equivalent of murder.

Embarrassment occurs when a norm or ‘boundary’ is violated. For most of us walking around daily in clothing is a norm we observe in public. Of course our private lives are, well, private. Adam and Eve realize this immediately once their ‘eyes become open’ after eating from the Tree of Knowledge. Their modesty strengthens as they grab the fig leafs due to their need for privacy and desire for recapturing their innocence.

Rabbi Friedman believes guilt is a third aspect of shame. This builds upon the emotional experience for Adam and Eve following their snack from the Tree of Knowledge. This is emotional guilt rather than the act of guilt for say an unlawful behavior.

According to Rabbi Friedman, guilt is the result of a broken or damaged relationship. In the context of Adam and Eve’s relationship with G-d, they did not violate nor not follow a commandment. They basically ignored the ‘commander’. Today, some may feel they have violated a spiritual trust with G-d by failing to follow the law of Torah. One of our recourses is seeking absolution through repentance during the high holidays to clear our conscience for peace of mind. But how do we achieve repentance?

Did G-d forgive Adam and Eve for their transgression? Well yes and no.

It is not exactly and clearly laid out for us aside from the humility that they adopted and the embarrassment they shielded themselves from with the fig leafs.  We do know about the punishment G-d imposed for Cain and Able (their son’s).  So if Adam and Eve were to repair their relationship with G-d what might it have looked like?

The topic of shame is dynamic and complex. Rabbi Friedman’s explanation of shame has been condensed and hopefully simplified for today’s D’var. Perhaps, according to Rabbi Friedman’s definition/explanation of shame, it would have gone something like this:

1) G-d says to Adam and Eve – “I realize you are feeling rather small  humbled and fragile – which is actually a really healthy way to feel after this transgression and that is OK and acceptable;

2) “Secondly”, G-d states, “I get that you feel rather embarrassed over this situation since you have awakened from a perfect world I created just for you before you ate from the Tree of Knowledge due to a false narrative provided by the serpent. I also realize that you believe your privacy was ignored, disregarded and deemed unimportant. You attempted to get that back through the fig leafs and your desire for modesty and most importantly the feeling of privacy”;

3) “Finally”, G-d might have said, “you are experiencing a sense of guilt feelings. You feel despair, unworthy, estranged and alienated specifically over our relationship.  You obviously feel your innocence has been lost and your also wondering if I, the almighty G-d, will accept you for your imperfections and the free will you have exceeded.  It’s clear our relationship needs to be strengthened. So here’s what we need to do. 

If you, ask me, G-d, to forgive you for your transgressions, and accept you the way you are, I will do so. By seeking this repentance, and receiving my acceptance, you will become innocent, whole, emotionally un-violated and healed once again”.

In summary, Rabbi Friedman believes the correct application of repentance will work to repair damaged relationships with those we love whether G-d or another person.  In accomplishing this we need to regain the innocence we had prior to the damaged relationship. Humility, embarrassment and guilt are the path that can get us there and the vulnerability of shame is the road that leads us back to our innocence.

In this new year may we all return once again to our innocence and remember our need for acceptance and forgiveness for ourselves and others. Also may we have a new year where we see and understand others the way we would like to be seen and understood. Good Shabbos!